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Letter from Walter Reed to Emilie B. Lawrence, March 20, 1876

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Willet's Point,
March 20th 76.
My own darling;

    One week
ago, I thought that the
winter of ice & snow had
bidden us farewell & that
spring, rosy spring, had
offered her greetings;
but alas! how have I
been deceived, or, more
properly, d mistaken! If
any tiny violet, of a like
frame of mind as my-
self, has ventured to
modestly raise its little
face to the sun, I know

 
that these cold, biting
March winds have caused
it to droop & die: and
I further know, that were
my little pink, Emilie, to
be exposed to the blasts that
daily sweep across the
parade, she would declare,
more than once, that her
sweet lips & face would
be "chapped", oh! so badly!
Still, this does not prevent
the wish that you were
really here, for I would
protect you so bravely!
Don't say, "oh! nonsense"
for you remember how
warm I kept your darling
 
little hand on that cold
evening, when we returned
from Miss Sue's, and
when you, like a modest,
timid little angel, as you
are, tried to withdraw your
hand from my grasp-
Don't you recall the
event? Alas! the last eve-
ning that I had the pleas-
ure of walking with my
sweet Emilie! Not the last
time, however, for we had
a delightful walk, the
following morning, (at
least, I can speak for
myself.) I deeply sigh,
& wonder when I shall
again, be permitted
 
to renew those happy
walks! Ah! it won't be
long! This I know- The
days & weeks fly swiftly
by and soon will bring
me to my Emilie! I cannot
tell you why, & yet it
rejoices my heart to tell
you, my love, that my faith,
my Christian [faith] which whose
flame had been allowed
to sink so low, until it
had almost expired, has
been recently kindled
anew & strengthened!
Yes, I have felt some
of the happiness & peace
of soul that "once were
 
mine-" and daily do I pray
that I may enjoy a
larger share! It may be
in answer to some prayer
that has gone up from
your heart, my precious-
I know not, but that I
[have] felt the need of a holier
life, there can be no doubt-
and I cannot find it in
my heart to resist the
impulse- Oh! I have strayed
far away from the path
of a Christian, & have for-
gotten the sweet lessons
that I early learned at
my mother's knee; I have
"hardened my heart" &
devoted my time & attention
 
too much to "worldly things";
but I have determined,
& fully determined, to re-
turn to those "paths of peace",
and by the help of Heaven,
to live a better life! oh!
my darling, can I not
ask that I may have
your prayers to sustain
me in this newness of
purpose & life? I know
that none, not even a
mother's or sister's, could
be more sincere than
those you would offer!
Also to your closet, my
own Emilie, & pray that
God may grant me
 
strength to overcome the world &
the flesh, to live nearer to the Blessed
Cross, and may He abundantly an-
swer & bless your petition.

Believe me, as ever,
my darling Emilie,
your fond & devoted

Walter
.