Le Gallienne, Richard. The Quest of the Golden Girl
Electronic Text Center, University of Virginia Library

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CHAPTER XV: STILL OCCUPIED WITH THE PETTICOAT

    THE door was opened by a comely young woman, with ruddy cheeks and a bright kind eye that promised conversation. But ``H'm,'' said I to myself, as she went to fetch my milk, ``evidently not yours, my dear.''

   ``A nice drying day for your washing,'' I said, as I slowly sipped my milk, with a half-inclination of my head towards the clothes-line.

   ``Very fine, indeed, sir,'' she returned, with something of a blush, and a shy deprecating look that seemed to beg me not to notice the peculiarly quaint antics which the wind, evidently a humourist, chose at that moment to execute with the female garments upon the line. However, I was for once cased in triple brass and inexorable.



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   ``And who,'' I ventured, smiling, ``may be the owner of those fine things?''

   ``Not those,'' I continued, pointing to an odd garment which the wind was wantonly puffing out in the quaintest way, ``but that pretty petticoat and those silk stockings?''

   The poor girl had gone scarlet, scarlet as the petticoat which I was sure was hers, with probably a fellow at the moment keeping warm her buxom figure.

   ``You are very bold, sir,'' she stammered through her blushes, but I could see that she was not ill-pleased that the finery should attract attention.

   ``But won't you tell me?'' I urged; ``I have a reason for asking.''

   And here I had better warn the reader that, as the result of a whim that presently seized me, I must be content to appear mad in his eyes for the next few pages, till I get an opportunity of explanation.

   ``Well, what if they should be mine?'' at length I persuaded her into saying.

   I made the obvious gallant reply, but, ``All the same,'' I added, ``you know they are not yours. They belong to some lady visitor,



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who, I'll be bound, is 't half so pretty; now, don't they?''

   ``Well, they just don't then. They're mine, as I tell you.''

   ``H'm,'' I continued, a little nonplussed, ``but do you really mean there is no lady staying with you?''

   ``Certainly,'' she replied, evidently enjoying my bewilderment.

   ``Well, then, some lady must have stayed here once,'' I retorted, with a sudden inspiration, ``and left them behind -- ''

   ``You might be a detective after stolen goods,'' she interrupted. ``I tell you the things are mine; and what I should like to know does a gentleman want bothering himself about a lady's petticoat! No wonder you blush,'' for, in fact, as was easy to foresee, the situation was becoming a little ridiculous for me.

   ``Now, look here,'' I said with an affectation of gravity, ``if you'll tell me how you came by those things, I'll make it worth your while. They were given to you by a lady who stayed here not so long ago, now, were 't they?''



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   ``Well, then, they were.''

   ``The lady stayed here with a gentleman?''

   ``Yes, she did.''

   ``H'm! I thought so,'' I said. ``Yes! that lady, it pains me to say, was my wife!''

   This unblushing statement was not, I could see, without its effect upon the present owner of the petticoat.

   ``But she said they were brother and sister,'' she replied.

   ``Of course she did,'' I returned, with a fine assumption of scorn, -- ``of course she did. They always do.''

   ``Dear young woman,'' I continued, when I was able to control my emotion, ``you are happily remote from the sin and wickedness of the town, and I am sorry to speak of such things in so peaceful a spot -- but as a strange chance has led me here, I must speak, must tell you that all wives are not so virtuous and faithful as you, I am sure, are. There are wives who forsake their husbands and -- and go off with a handsomer man, as the poet says; and mine, mine, alas! was one of them. It is now some months ago that my wife left me in this way, and since then



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I have spent every day in searching for her; but never till this moment have I come upon the least trace of her. Strange, is it not? that here, in this peaceful out-of-the-way garden, I should come upon her very petticoat, her very stockings -- ''

   By this my grief had become such that the kind girl put her hand on my arm. ``Don't take on so,'' she said kindly, and then remembering her treasured property, and probably fearing a counterclaim on my part to its possession, ``But how can you be sure she was here? There are lots of petticoats like that -- ''

   ``What was she like?'' I asked through my agitation.

   ``Middle height, slim and fair, with red goldy hair and big blue eyes; about thirty, I should say.''

   ``The very same,'' I groaned, ``there is no mistake; and now,'' I continued, ``I want you to sell me that petticoat and those stockings,'' and I took a couple of sovereigns from my purse. ``I want to have them to confront her with, when I do find her. Perhaps it will touch her heart to think of the



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strange way in which I came by them; and you can buy just as pretty ones again with the money,'' I added, as I noticed the disappointment on her face at the prospect of thus losing her finery.

   ``Well, it's a funny business, to be sure,'' she said, as still half reluctantly she unpegged the coveted garments from the line; ``but if what you say 's true, I suppose you must have them.''

   The wanton wind had been so busily kissing them all the morning that they were quite dry, so I was able to find room for them in my knapsack without danger to the other contents; and, with a hasty good-day to their recent possessor, I set off at full speed to find a secure nook where I could throw myself down on the grass, and let loose the absurd laughter that was dangerously bottled up within me; but even before I do that it behoves me if possible to vindicate my sanity to the reader.






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