Shakespeare, William, 1564-1616. Henry IV, Part One (1623 First Folio Edition)
Electronic Text Center, University of Virginia Library
|
Table of Contents for this work | | All on-line databases | Etext Center Homepage |
Scene iv
964: Scena Quarta.
965: [ Enter Prince and Poines.]
Prin.
966: Ned, prethee come out of that fat roome, & lend
967: me thy hand to laugh a little.
Poines.
968: Where hast bene Hall?
Prin.
969: With three or foure Logger-heads, amongst 3.
970: or fourescore Hogsheads. I haue sounded the verie base
971: string of humility. Sirra, I am sworn brother to a leash of
972: Drawers, and can call them by their names, as Tom, Dicke,
973: and Francis. They take it already vpon their confidence,
974: that though I be but Prince of Wales, yet I am the King
975: of Curtesie: telling me flatly I am no proud Iack like Fal-staffe,
976: but a Corinthian, a lad of mettle, a good boy, and
977: when I am King of England, I shall command al the good
978: Laddes in East-cheape. They call drinking deepe, dy-ing
979: Scarlet; and when you breath in your watering, then
980: they cry hem, and bid you play it off. To conclude, I am
981: so good a proficient in one quarter of an houre, that I can
982: drinke with any Tinker in his owne Language during my
983: life. I tell thee Ned, thou hast lost much honor, that thou
984: wer't not with me in this action: but sweet Ned, to swee-ten
985: which name of Ned, I giue thee this peniworth of Su-gar,
986: clapt euen now into my hand by an vnder Skinker,
987: one that neuer spake other English in his life, then Eight
988: shillings and six pence, and, You are welcome: with this shril
989: addition, Anon, Anon sir, Score a Pint of Bastard in the
990: Halfe Moone, or so. But Ned, to driue away time till Fal-staffe
991: come, I prythee doe thou stand in some by-roome,
992: while I question my puny Drawer, to what end hee gaue
993: me the Sugar, and do neuer leaue calling Francis, that his
994: Tale to me may be nothing but, Anon: step aside, and Ile
995: shew thee a President.
Poines.
996: Francis.
Prin.
997: Thou art perfect.
Poin.
998: Francis.
999: [ Enter Drawer.]
Fran.
1000: Anon, anon sir; looke downe into the Pomgar-net,
1001: Ralfe.
Prince.
1002: Come hither Francis.
Fran.
1003: My Lord.
Prin.
1004: How long hast thou to serue, Francis?
Fran.
1005: Forsooth fiue yeares, and as much as to===
Poin.
1006: Francis.
Fran.
1007: Anon, anon sir.
Prin.
1008: Fiue yeares: Berlady a long Lease for the clin-king
1009: of Pewter. But Francis, darest thou be so valiant, as
1010: to play the coward with thy Indenture, & show it a faire
1011: paire of heeles, and run from it?
Fran.
1012: O Lord sir, Ile be sworne vpon all the Books in
1013: England, I could finde in my heart.
Poin.
1014: Francis.
Fran.
1015: Anon, anon sir.
Prin.
1016: How old art thou, Francis?
Fran.
1017: Let me see, about Michaelmas next I shalbe===
Poin.
1018: Francis.
Fran.
1019: Anon sir, pray you stay a little, my Lord.
Prin.
1020: Nay but harke you Francis, for the Sugar thou
1021: gauest me, 'twas a penyworth, was't not?
Fran.
1022: O Lord sir, I would it had bene two.
Prin.
1023: I will giue thee for it a thousand pound: Aske
1024: me when thou wilt, and thou shalt haue it.
Poin.
1025: Francis.
Fran.
1026: Anon, anon.
Prin.
1027: Anon Francis? No Francis, but to morrow Fran-cis:
1028: or Francis, on thursday: or indeed Francis when thou
1029: wilt. But Francis.
Fran.
1030: My Lord.
Prin.
1031: Wilt thou rob this Leatherne Ierkin, Christall
1032: button, Not-pated, Agat ring, Puke stocking, Caddice
1033: garter, Smooth tongue, Spanish pouch.
Fran.
1034: O Lord sir, who do you meane?
Prin.
1035: Why then your browne Bastard is your onely
1036: drinke: for looke you Francis, your white Canuas doub-let
1037: will sulley. In Barbary sir, it cannot come to so much.
Fran.
1038: What sir?
Poin.
1039: Francis.
Prin.
1040: Away you Rogue, dost thou heare them call?
1041: Heere they both call him, the Drawer stands amazed,
1042: not knowing which way to go.
1043: [ Enter Vintner.]
Vint.
1044: What, stand'st thou still, and hear'st such a cal-ling?
1045: Looke to the Guests within: My Lord, olde Sir
1046: Iohn with halfe a dozen more, are at the doore: shall I let
1047: them in?
Prin.
1048: Let them alone awhile, and then open the doore.
1049: Poines.
1050: [ Enter Poines.]
Poin.
1051: Anon, anon sir.
Prin.
1052: Sirra, Falstaffe and the rest of the Theeues, are at
1053: the doore, shall we be merry?
Poin.
1054: As merrie as Crickets my Lad. But harke yee,
1055: What cunning match haue you made this iest of the
1056: Drawer? Come, what's the issue?
Prin.
1057: I am now of all humors, that haue shewed them-selues
1058: humors, since the old dayes of goodman Adam, to
1059: the pupill age of this present twelue a clock at midnight.
1060: What's a clocke Francis?
Fran.
1061: Anon, anon sir.
Prin.
1062: That euer this Fellow should haue fewer words
1063: then a Parret, and yet the sonne of a Woman. His indu-stry
1064: is vp-staires and down-staires, his eloquence the par-cell
1065: of a reckoning. I am not yet of Percies mind, the Hot-spurre
1066: of the North, he that killes me some sixe or seauen
1067: dozen of Scots at a Breakfast, washes his hands, and saies
1068: to his wife; Fie vpon this quiet life, I want worke. O my
1069: sweet Harry sayes she, how many hast thou kill'd to day?
1070: Giue my Roane horse a drench (sayes hee) and answeres,
1071: some fourteene, an houre after: a trifle, a trifle. I prethee
1072: call in Falstaffe, Ile play Percy, and that damn'd Brawne
1073: shall play Dame Mortimer his wife. Riuo, sayes the drun-kard.
1074: Call in Ribs, call in Tallow.
1075: [ Enter Falstaffe.]
Poin.
1076: Welcome Iacke, where hast thou beene?
Fal.
1077: A plague of all Cowards I say, and a Vengeance
1078: too, marry and Amen. Giue me a cup of Sacke Boy. Ere
1079: I leade this life long, Ile sowe nether stockes, and mend
1080: them too. A plague of all cowards. Giue me a Cup of
1081: Sacke, Rogue. Is there no Vertue extant?
Prin.
1082: Didst thou neuer see Titan kisse a dish of Butter,
1083: pittifull hearted Titan that melted at the sweete Tale of
1084: the Sunne? If thou didst, then behold that compound.
Fal.
1085: You Rogue, heere's Lime in this Sacke too: there
1086: is nothing but Roguery to be found in Villanous man; yet
1087: a Coward is worse then a Cup of Sack with lime. A vil-lanous
1088: Coward, go thy wayes old Iacke, die when thou
1089: wilt, if manhood, good manhood be not forgot vpon the
1090: face of the earth, then am I a shotten Herring: there liues
1091: not three good men vnhang'd in England, & one of them
1092: is fat, and growes old, God helpe the while, a bad world I
1093: say. I would I were a Weauer, I could sing all manner of
1094: songs. A plague of all Cowards, I say still.
Prin.
1095: How now Woolsacke, what mutter you?
Fal.
1096: A Kings Sonne? If I do not beate thee out of thy
1097: Kingdome with a dagger of Lath, and driue all thy Sub-iects
1098: afore thee like a flocke of Wilde-geese, Ile neuer
1099: weare haire on my face more. You Prince of Wales?
Prin.
1100: Why you horson round man? what's the matter?
Fal.
1101: Are you not a Coward? Answer me to that, and
1102: Poines there?
Prin.
1103: Ye fat paunch, and yee call mee Coward, Ile
1104: stab thee.
Fal.
1105: I call thee Coward? Ile see thee damn'd ere I call
1106: the Coward: but I would giue a thousand pound I could
1107: run as fast as thou canst. You are straight enough in the
1108: shoulders, you care not who sees your backe: Call you
1109: that backing of your friends? a plague vpon such bac-king:
1110: giue me them that will face me. Giue me a Cup
1111: of Sack, I am a Rogue if I drunke to day.
Prin.
1112: O Villaine, thy Lippes are scarce wip'd, since
1113: thou drunk'st last.
Falst. All's one for that. [ He drinkes.]
1114:
1115: A plague of all Cowards still, say I.
Prince.
1116: What's the matter?
Falst.
1117: What's the matter? here be foure of vs, haue
1118: ta'ne a thousand pound this Morning.
Prince.
1119: Where is it, Iack? where is it?
Falst.
1120: Where is it? taken from vs, it is: a hundred
1121: vpon poore foure of vs.
Prince.
1122: What, a hundred, man?
Falst.
1123: I am a Rogue, if I were not at halfe Sword with
1124: a dozen of them two houres together. I haue scaped by
1125: miracle. I am eight times thrust through the Doublet,
1126: foure through the Hose, my Buckler cut through and
1127: through, my Sword hackt like a Hand-saw, ecce signum.
1128: I neuer dealt better since I was a man: all would not doe.
1129: A plague of all Cowards: let them speake; if they speake
1130: more or lesse then truth, they are villaines, and the sonnes
1131: of darknesse.
Prince.
1132: Speake sirs, how was it?
Gad.
1133: We foure set vpon some dozen.
Falst.
1134: Sixteene, at least, my Lord.
Gad.
1135: And bound them.
Peto.
1136: No, no, they were not bound.
Falst.
1137: You Rogue, they were bound, euery man of
1138: them, or I am a Iew else, an Ebrew Iew.
Gad.
1139: As we were sharing, some sixe or seuen fresh men
1140: set vpon vs.
Falst.
1141: And vnbound the rest, and then come in the
1142: other.
Prince.
1143: What, fought yee with them all?
Falst.
1144: All? I know not what yee call all: but if I
1145: fought not with fiftie of them, I am a bunch of Radish:
1146: if there were not two or three and fiftie vpon poore olde
1147: Iack, then am I no two-legg'd Creature.
Poin.
1148: Pray Heauen, you haue not murthered some of
1149: them.
Falst.
1150: Nay, that's past praying for, I haue pepper'd
1151: two of them: Two I am sure I haue payed, two Rogues
1152: in Buckrom Sutes. I tell thee what, Hal, if I tell thee a
1153: Lye, spit in my face, call me Horse: thou knowest my olde
1154: word: here I lay, and thus I bore my point; foure Rogues
1155: in Buckrom let driue at me.
Prince.
1156: What, foure? thou sayd'st but two, euen now.
Falst.
1157: Foure Hal, I told thee foure.
Poin.
1158: I, I, he said foure.
Falst.
1159: These foure came all a-front, and mainely thrust
1160: at me; I made no more adoe, but tooke all their seuen
1161: points in my Targuet, thus.
Prince.
1162: Seuen? why there were but foure, euen now.
Falst.
1163: In buckrom.
Poin.
1164: I, foure, in Buckrom Sutes.
Falst.
1165: Seuen, by these Hilts, or I am a Villaine else.
Prin.
1166: Prethee let him alone, we shall haue more anon.
Falst.
1167: Doest thou heare me, Hal?
Prin.
1168: I, and marke thee too, Iack.
Falst.
1169: Doe so, for it is worth the listning too: these
1170: nine in Buckrom, that I told thee of.
Prin.
1171: So, two more alreadie.
Falst.
1172: Their Points being broken.
Poin.
1173: Downe fell his Hose.
Falst.
1174: Began to giue me ground: but I followed me
1175: close, came in foot and hand; and with a thought, seuen of
1176: the eleuen I pay'd.
Prin.
1177: O monstrous! eleuen Buckrom men growne
1178: out of two?
Falst.
1179: But as the Deuill would haue it, three mis-be-gotten
1180: Knaues, in Kendall Greene, came at my Back, and
1181: let driue at me; for it was so darke, Hal, that thou could'st
1182: not see thy Hand.
Prin.
1183: These Lyes are like the Father that begets them,
1184: grosse as a Mountaine, open, palpable. Why thou Clay-brayn'd
1185: Guts, thou Knotty-pated Foole, thou Horson ob-scene
1186: greasie Tallow Catch.
Falst.
1187: What, art thou mad? art thou mad? is not the
1188: truth, the truth?
Prin.
1189: Why, how could'st thou know these men in
1190: Kendall Greene, when it was so darke, thou could'st not
1191: see thy Hand? Come, tell vs your reason: what say'st thou
1192: to this?
Poin.
1193: Come, your reason Iack, your reason.
Falst.
1194: What, vpon compulsion? No: were I at the
1195: Strappado, or all the Racks in the World, I would not
1196: tell you on compulsion. Giue you a reason on compulsi-on?
1197: If Reasons were as plentie as Black-berries, I would
1198: giue no man a Reason vpon compulsion, I.
Prin.
1199: Ile be no longer guiltie of this sinne. This san-guine
1200: Coward, this Bed-presser, this Hors-back-breaker,
1201: this huge Hill of Flesh.
Falst.
1202: Away you Starueling, you Elfe-skin, you dried
1203: Neats tongue, Bulles-pissell, you stocke-fish: O for breth
1204: to vtter. What is like thee? You Tailors yard, you sheath
1205: you Bow-case, you vile standing tucke.
Prin.
1206: Well, breath a-while, and then to't againe: and
1207: when thou hast tyr'd thy selfe in base comparisons, heare
1208: me speake but thus.
Poin.
1209: Marke Iacke.
Prin.
1210: We two, saw you foure set on foure and bound
1211: them, and were Masters of their Wealth: mark now how
1212: a plaine Tale shall put you downe. Then did we two, set
1213: on you foure, and with a word, outfac'd you from your
1214: prize, and haue it: yea, and can shew it you in the House.
1215: And Falstaffe, you caried your Guts away as nimbly, with
1216: as quicke dexteritie, and roared for mercy, and still ranne
1217: and roar'd, as euer I heard Bull-Calfe. What a Slaue art
1218: thou, to hacke thy sword as thou hast done, and then say
1219: it was in fight. What trick? what deuice? what starting
1220: hole canst thou now find out, to hide thee from this open
1221: and apparant shame?
Poines.
1222: Come, let's heare Iacke: What tricke hast
1223: thou now?
Fal.
1224: I knew ye as well as he that made ye. Why heare
1225: ye my Masters, was it for me to kill the Heire apparant?
1226: Should I turne vpon the true Prince? Why, thou knowest
1227: I am as valiant as Hercules: but beware Instinct, the Lion
1228: will not touch the true Prince: Instinct is a great matter.
1229: I was a Coward on Instinct: I shall thinke the better of
1230: my selfe, and thee, during my life: I, for a valiant Lion,
1231: and thou for a true Prince. But Lads, I am glad you haue
1232: the Mony. Hostesse, clap to the doores: watch to night,
1233: pray to morrow. Gallants, Lads, Boyes, Harts of Gold,
1234: all the good Titles of Fellowship come to you. What,
1235: shall we be merry? shall we haue a Play extempory.
Prin.
1236: Content, and the argument shall be, thy runing
1237: away.
Fal.
1238: A, no more of that Hall, and thou louest me.
1239: [ Enter Hostesse]
Host.
1240: My Lord, the Prince?
Prin.
1241: How now my Lady the Hostesse, what say'st
1242: thou to me?
Hostesse.
1243: Marry, my Lord, there is a Noble man of the
1244: Court at doore would speake with you: hee sayes, hee
1245: comes from your Father.
Prin.
1246: Giue him as much as will make him a Royall
1247: man, and send him backe againe to my Mother.
Falst.
1248: What manner of man is hee?
Hostesse.
1249: An old man.
Falst.
1250: What doth Grauitie out of his Bed at Midnight?
1251: Shall I giue him his answere?
Prin.
1252: Prethee doe Iacke.
Falst. 'Faith, and Ile send him packing. [ Exit.]
1253:
Prince.
1254: Now Sirs: you fought faire; so did you
1255: Peto, so did you Bardol: you are Lyons too, you ranne
1256: away vpon instinct: you will not touch the true Prince;
1257: no, fie.
Bard.
1258: 'Faith, I ranne when I saw others runne.
Prin.
1259: Tell mee now in earnest, how came Falstaffes
1260: Sword so hackt?
Peto.
1261: Why, he hackt it with his Dagger, and said, hee
1262: would sweare truth out of England, but hee would make
1263: you beleeue it was done in fight, and perswaded vs to doe
1264: the like.
Bard.
1265: Yea, and to tickle our Noses with Spear-grasse,
1266: to make them bleed, and then to beslubber our garments
1267: with it, and sweare it was the blood of true men. I did
1268: that I did not this seuen yeeres before, I blusht to heare
1269: his monstrous deuices.
Prin.
1270: O Villaine, thou stolest a Cup of Sacke eigh-teene
1271: yeeres agoe, and wert taken with the manner, and
1272: euer since thou hast blusht extempore: thou hadst fire
1273: and sword on thy side, and yet thou ranst away; what
1274: instinct hadst thou for it?
Bard.
1275: My Lord, doe you see these Meteors? doe you
1276: behold these Exhalations?
Prin.
1277: I doe
Bard.
1278: What thinke you they portend?
Prin.
1279: Hot Liuers, and cold Purses.
Bard.
1280: Choler, my Lord, if rightly taken.
Prin.
1281: No, if rightly taken, Halter.
1282: [ Enter Falstaffe.]
1283: Heere comes leane Iacke, heere comes bare-bone. How
1284: now my sweet Creature of Bombast, how long is't agoe,
1285: Iacke, since thou saw'st thine owne Knee?
Falst.
1286: My owne Knee? When I was about thy yeeres
1287: (Hal) I was not an Eagles Talent in the Waste, I could
1288: haue crept into any Aldermans Thumbe-Ring: a plague
1289: of sighing and griefe, it blowes a man vp like a Bladder.
1290: There's villanous Newes abroad; heere was Sir Iohn
1291: Braby from your Father; you must goe to the Court in
1292: the Morning. The same mad fellow of the North, Percy;
1293: and hee of Wales, that gaue Amamon the Bastinado,
1294: and made Lucifer Cuckold, and swore the Deuill his true
1295: Liege-man vpon the Crosse of a Welch-hooke; what a
1296: plague call you him?
Poin.
1297: O, Glendower.
Falst.
1298: Owen, Owen; the same, and his Sonne in Law
1299: Mortimer, and old Northumberland, and the sprightly
1300: Scot of Scots, Dowglas, that runnes a Horse-backe vp a
1301: Hill perpendicular.
Prin.
1302: Hee that rides at high speede, and with a Pistoll
1303: kills a Sparrow flying.
Falst.
1304: You haue hit it.
Prin.
1305: So did he neuer the Sparrow.
Falst.
1306: Well, that Rascall hath good mettall in him,
1307: hee will not runne.
Prin.
1308: Why, what a Rascall art thou then, to prayse him
1309: so for running?
Falst.
1310: A Horse-backe (ye Cuckoe) but a foot hee will
1311: not budge a foot.
Prin.
1312: Yes Iacke, vpon instinct.
Falst.
1313: I grant ye, vpon instinct: Well, hee is there too,
1314: and one Mordake, and a thousand blew-Cappes more.
1315: Worcester is stolne away by Night: thy Fathers Beard is
1316: turn'd white with the Newes; you may buy Land now
1317: as cheape as stinking Mackrell.
Prin.
1318: Then 'tis like, if there come a hot Sunne, and this
1319: ciuill buffetting hold, wee shall buy Maiden-heads as
1320: they buy Hob-nayles, by the Hundreds.
Falst.
1321: By the Masse Lad, thou say'st true, it is like wee
1322: shall haue good trading that way. But tell me Hal, art
1323: not thou horrible afear'd? thou being Heire apparant,
1324: could the World picke thee out three such Enemyes a-gaine,
1325: as that Fiend Dowglas, that Spirit Percy, and that
1326: Deuill Glendower? Art not thou horrible afraid? Doth
1327: not thy blood thrill at it?
Prin.
1328: Not a whit: I lacke some of thy instinct.
Falst.
1329: Well, thou wilt be horrible chidde to morrow,
1330: when thou commest to thy Father: if thou doe loue me,
1331: practise an answere.
Prin.
1332: Doe thou stand for my Father, and examine mee
1333: vpon the particulars of my Life.
Falst.
1334: Shall I? content: This Chayre shall bee my
1335: State, this Dagger my Scepter, and this Cushion my
1336: Crowne.
Prin.
1337: Thy State is taken for a Ioyn'd-Stoole, thy Gol-den
1338: Scepter for a Leaden Dagger, and thy precious rich
1339: Crowne, for a pittifull bald Crowne.
Falst.
1340: Well, and the fire of Grace be not quite out of
1341: thee now shalt thou be moued. Giue me a Cup of Sacke
1342: to make mine eyes looke redde, that it may be thought I
1343: haue wept, for I must speake in passion, and I will doe it
1344: in King Cambyses vaine.
Prin.
1345: Well, heere is my Legge.
Falst.
1346: And heere is my speech: stand aside Nobilitie.
Hostesse.
1347: This is excellent sport, yfaith.
Falst.
1348: Weepe not, sweet Queene, for trickling teares
1349: are vaine.
Hostesse.
1350: O the Father, how hee holdes his counte-nance?
1351: _
Falst.
1352: For Gods sake Lords, conuey my trustfull Queen,
1353: For teares doe stop the floud-gates of her eyes.
Hostesse.
1354: O rare, he doth it as like one of these harlotry
1355: Players, as euer I see.
Falst.
1356: Peace good Pint-pot, peace good Tickle-braine.
1357: Harry, I doe not onely maruell where thou spendest thy
1358: time; but also, how thou art accompanied: For though
1359: the Camomile, the more it is troden, the faster it growes;
1360: yet Youth, the more it is wasted, the sooner it weares.
1361: Thou art my Sonne: I haue partly thy Mothers Word,
1362: partly my Opinion; but chiefely, a villanous tricke of
1363: thine Eye, and a foolish hanging of thy nether Lippe, that
1364: doth warrant me. If then thou be Sonne to mee, heere
1365: lyeth the point: why, being Sonne to me, art thou so
1366: poynted at? Shall the blessed Sonne of Heauen proue a
1367: Micher, and eate Black-berryes? a question not to bee
1368: askt. Shall the Sonne of England proue a Theefe, and
1369: take Purses? a question to be askt. There is a thing,
1370: Harry, which thou hast often heard of, and it is knowne to
1371: many in our Land, by the Name of Pitch: this Pitch (as
1372: ancient Writers doe report) doth defile; so doth the com-panie
1373: thou keepest: for Harry, now I doe not speake to
1374: thee in Drinke, but in Teares; not in Pleasure, but in Pas-sion;
1375: not in Words onely, but in Woes also: and yet
1376: there is a vertuous man, whom I haue often noted in thy
1377: companie, but I know not his Name.
Prin.
1378: What manner of man, and it like your Ma-iestie?
1379: _
Falst.
1380: A goodly portly man yfaith, and a corpulent,
1381: of a chearefull Looke, a pleasing Eye, and a most noble
1382: Carriage, and as I thinke, his age some fiftie, or (byrlady)
1383: inclining to threescore; and now I remember mee, his
1384: Name is Falstaffe: if that man should be lewdly giuen,
1385: hee deceiues mee; for Harry, I see Vertue in his Lookes.
1386: If then the Tree may be knowne by the Fruit, as the Fruit
1387: by the Tree, then peremptorily I speake it, there is Vertue
1388: in that Falstaffe: him keepe with, the rest banish. And
1389: tell mee now, thou naughtie Varlet, tell mee, where hast
1390: thou beene this moneth?
Prin.
1391: Do'st thou speake like a King? doe thou stand
1392: for mee, and Ile play my Father.
Falst.
1393: Depose me: if thou do'st it halfe so grauely, so
1394: maiestically, both in word and matter, hang me vp by the
1395: heeles for a Rabbet-sucker, or a Poulters Hare.
Prin.
1396: Well, heere I am set.
Falst.
1397: And heere I stand: iudge my Masters.
Prin.
1398: Now Harry, whence come you?
Falst.
1399: My Noble Lord, from East-cheape.
Prin.
1400: The complaints I heare of thee, are grieuous.
Falst.
1401: Yfaith, my Lord, they are false: Nay, Ile tickle
1402: ye for a young Prince.
Prin.
1403: Swearest thou, vngracious Boy? henceforth
1404: ne're looke on me: thou art violently carryed away from
1405: Grace: there is a Deuill haunts thee, in the likenesse of a
1406: fat old Man; a Tunne of Man is thy Companion: Why
1407: do'st thou conuerse with that Trunke of Humors, that
1408: Boulting-Hutch of Beastlinesse, that swolne Parcell of
1409: Dropsies, that huge Bombard of Sacke, that stuft Cloake-bagge
1410: of Guts, that rosted Manning Tree Oxe with the
1411: Pudding in his Belly, that reuerend Vice, that grey ini-quitie,
1412: that Father Ruffian, that Vanitie in yeeres? where-in
1413: is he good, but to taste Sacke, and drinke it? wherein
1414: neat and cleanly, but to carue a Capon, and eat it? where-in
1415: Cunning, but in Craft? wherein Craftie, but in Villa-nie?
1416: wherein Villanous, but in all things? wherein wor-thy,
1417: but in nothing?
Falst.
1418: I would your Grace would take me with you:
1419: whom meanes your Grace?
Prince.
1420: That villanous abhominable mis-leader of
1421: Youth, Falstaffe, that old white-bearded Sathan.
Falst.
1422: My Lord, the man I know.
Prince.
1423: I know thou do'st.
Falst.
1424: But to say, I know more harme in him then in
1425: my selfe, were to say more then I know. That hee is olde
1426: (the more the pittie) his white hayres doe witnesse it:
1427: but that hee is (sauing your reuerence) a Whore-ma-ster,
1428: that I vtterly deny. If Sacke and Sugar bee a fault,
1429: Heauen helpe the Wicked: if to be olde and merry, be a
1430: sinne, then many an olde Hoste that I know, is damn'd:
1431: if to be fat, be to be hated, then Pharaohs leane Kine are
1432: to be loued. No, my good Lord, banish Peto, banish
1433: Bardolph, banish Poines: but for sweete Iacke Falstaffe,
1434: kinde Iacke Falstaffe, true Iacke Falstaffe, valiant Iacke Fal-staffe,
1435: and therefore more valiant, being as hee is olde Iack
1436: Falstaffe, banish not him thy Harryes companie, banish
1437: not him thy Harryes companie; banish plumpe Iacke, and
1438: banish all the World.
Prince.
1439: I doe, I will.
1440: [ Enter Bardolph running.]
Bard.
1441: O, my Lord, my Lord, the Sherife, with a most
1442: monstrous Watch, is at the doore.
Falst.
1443: Out you Rogue, play out the Play: I haue much
1444: to say in the behalfe of that Falstaffe.
1445: [ Enter the Hostesse.]
Hostesse.
1446: O, my Lord, my Lord.
Falst.
1447: Heigh, heigh, the Deuill rides vpon a Fiddle-sticke:
1448: what's the matter?
Hostesse.
1449: The Sherife and all the Watch are at the
1450: doore: they are come to search the House, shall I let
1451: them in?
Falst.
1452: Do'st thou heare Hal, neuer call a true peece of
1453: Gold a Counterfeit: thou art essentially made, without
1454: seeming so.
Prince.
1455: And thou a naturall Coward, without in-stinct.
1456: _
Falst.
1457: I deny your Maior: if you will deny the
1458: Sherife, so: if not, let him enter. If I become not a Cart
1459: as well as another man, a plague on my bringing vp: I
1460: hope I shall as soone be strangled with a Halter, as ano-ther.
1461: _
Prince.
1462: Goe hide thee behinde the Arras, the rest
1463: walke vp aboue. Now my Masters, for a true Face and
1464: good Conscience.
Falst.
1465: Both which I haue had: but their date is out,
1466: and therefore Ile hide me. [ Exit.]
Prince.
1467: Call in the Sherife.
1468: [ Enter Sherife and the Carrier.]
Prince.
1469: Now Master Sherife, what is your will with
1470: mee?
She.
1471: First pardon me, my Lord. A Hue and Cry hath
1472: followed certaine men vnto this house.
Prince.
1473: What men?
She.
1474: One of them is well knowne, my gracious Lord,
1475: a grosse fat man.
Car.
1476: As fat as Butter.
Prince.
1477: The man, I doe assure you, is not heere,
1478: For I my selfe at this time haue imploy'd him:
1479: And Sherife, I will engage my word to thee,
1480: That I will by to morrow Dinner time,
1481: Send him to answere thee, or any man,
1482: For any thing he shall be charg'd withall:
1483: And so let me entreat you, leaue the house.
She.
1484: I will, my Lord: there are two Gentlemen
1485: Haue in this Robberie lost three hundred Markes.
Prince.
1486: It may be so: if he haue robb'd these men,
1487: He shall be answerable: and so farewell.
She.
1488: Good Night, my Noble Lord.
Prince.
1489: I thinke it is good Morrow, is it not?
She.
1490: Indeede, my Lord, I thinke it be two a Clocke.
1491: [ Exit.]
Prince.
1492: This oyly Rascall is knowne as well as Poules:
1493: goe call him forth.
Peto.
1494: Falstaffe? fast asleepe behinde the Arras, and
1495: snorting like a Horse.
Prince.
1496: Harke, how hard he fetches breath: search his
1497: Pockets.
1498: He searcheth his Pockets, and findeth
1499: certaine Papers.
Prince.
1500: What hast thou found?
Peto.
1501: Nothing but Papers, my Lord.
Prince.
1502: Let's see, what be they? reade them.
Peto.
1503: Item, a Capon. ii.s.ii.d.
1504: Item, Sawce iiii.d.
1505: Item, Sacke, two Gallons. v.s.viii.d.
1506: Item, Anchoues and Sacke after Supper. ii.s.vi.d.
1507: Item, Bread. ob.
Prince.
1508: O monstrous, but one halfe penny-worth of
1509: Bread to this intollerable deale of Sacke? What there is
1510: else, keepe close, wee'le reade it at more aduantage: there
1511: let him sleepe till day. Ile to the Court in the Morning:
1512: Wee must all to the Warres, and thy place shall be hono-rable.
1513: Ile procure this fat Rogue a Charge of Foot,
1514: and I know his death will be a Match of Twelue-score.
1515: The Money shall be pay'd backe againe with aduantage.
1516: Be with me betimes in the Morning: and so good mor-row
1517: Peto.
Peto.
Good morrow, good my Lord. [ Exeunt.]
1518:
Act III