Shakespeare, William, 1564-1616. Love's Labour Lost (1623 First Folio Edition)
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Act III
769: Actus Tertius.
770: [ Enter Braggart and Boy.]
771: [ Song.]
772:
Bra.
Warble childe, make passionate my sense of hea-ring.
773: _
774:
Boy.
Concolinel.
775:
Brag.
Sweete Ayer, go tendernesse of yeares: take
776: this Key, giue enlargement to the swaine, bring him fe-stinatly
777: hither: I must imploy him in a letter to my
778: Loue.
779:
Boy.
Will you win your loue with a French braule?
780:
Bra.
How meanest thou, brauling in French?
781:
Boy.
No my compleat master, but to Iigge off a tune
782: at the tongues end, canarie to it with the feete, humour
783: it with turning vp your eie: sigh a note and sing a note,
784: sometime through the throate: if you swallowed loue
785: with singing, loue sometime through: nose as if you
786: snuft vp loue by smelling loue with your hat penthouse-like
787: ore the shop of your eies, with your armes crost on
788: your thinbellie doublet, like a Rabbet on a spit, or your
789: hands in your pocket, like a man after the old painting,
790: and keepe not too long in one tune, but a snip and away:
791: these are complements, these are humours, these betraie
792: nice wenches that would be betraied without these, and
793: make them men of note: do you note men that most are
794: affected to these?
795:
Brag.
How hast thou purchased this experience?
796:
Boy.
By my penne of obseruation.
797:
Brag.
But O, but O.
798:
Boy.
The Hobbie-horse is forgot.
799:
Bra.
Cal'st thou my loue Hobbi-horse.
800:
Boy.
No Master, the Hobbie-horse is but a Colt, and
801: and your Loue perhaps, a Hacknie:
802: but haue you forgot your Loue?
803:
Brag.
Almost I had.
804:
Boy.
Negligent student, learne her by heart.
805:
Brag.
By heart, and in heart Boy.
806:
Boy.
And out of heart Master: all those three I will
807: proue.
808:
Brag.
What wilt thou proue?
809:
Boy.
A man, if I liue (and this) by, in, and without, vp-on
810: the instant: by heart you loue her, because your heart
811: cannot come by her: in heart you loue her, because your
812: heart is in loue with her: and out of heart you loue her,
813: being out of heart that you cannot enioy her.
814:
Brag.
I am all these three.
815:
Boy.
And three times as much more, and yet nothing
816: at all.
817:
Brag.
Fetch hither the Swaine, he must carrie mee a
818: letter.
819:
Boy.
A message well simpathis'd, a Horse to be em-bassadour
820: for an Asse.
821:
Brag.
Ha, ha, What saiest thou?
822:
Boy.
Marrie sir, you must send the Asse vpon the Horse
823: for he is verie slow gated: but I goe.
824:
Brag.
The way is but short, away.
825:
Boy.
As swift as Lead sir.
826:
Brag.
Thy meaning prettie ingenious, is not Lead a
827: mettall heauie, dull, and slow?
828:
Boy.
Minnime honest Master, or rather Master no.
829:
Brag.
I say Lead is slow.
830:
Boy.
You are too swift sir to say so.
831: Is that Lead slow which is fir'd from a Gunne?
832:
Brag.
Sweete smoke of Rhetorike,
833: He reputes me a Cannon, and the Bullet that's he:
834: I shoote thee at the Swaine.
835:
Boy.
Thump then, and I flee.
836:
Bra.
A most acute Iuuenall, voluble and free of grace,
837: By thy fauour sweet Welkin, I must sigh in thy face.
838: Most rude melancholie, Valour giues thee place.
839: My Herald is return'd.
840: [ Enter Page and Clowne.]
841:
Pag.
A wonder Master, here's a Costard broken in a
842: shin.
843:
Ar.
Some enigma, some riddle, come, thy Lenuoy
844: begin.
845:
Clo.
No egma, no riddle, no lenuoy, no salue, in thee
846: male sir. Or sir, Plantan, a plaine Plantan: no lenuoy, no
847: lenuoy, no Salue sir, but a Plantan.
848:
Ar.
By vertue, thou inforcest laughter, thy sillie
849: thought, my spleene, the heauing of my lunges prouokes
850: me to rediculous smyling: O pardon me my stars, doth
851: the inconsiderate take salue for lenuoy, and the word len-uoy
852: for a salue?
853:
Pag.
Doe the wise thinke them other, is not lenuoy a
854: salue?
855:
Ar.
No Page, it is an epilogue or discourse to make plaine,
856: Some obscure precedence that hath tofore bin faine.
857: Now will I begin your morrall, and do you follow with
858: my lenuoy.
859: The Foxe, the Ape, and the Humble-Bee,
860: Were still at oddes, being but three.
861:
Arm.
Vntill the Goose came out of doore,
862: Staying the oddes by adding foure.
863:
Pag.
A good Lenuoy, ending in the Goose: would you
864: desire more?
865:
Clo.
The Boy hath sold him a bargaine, a Goose, that's flat.
866: Sir, your penny-worth is good, and your Goose be fat.
867: To sell a bargaine well is as cunning as fast and loose:
868: Let me see a fat Lenuoy, I that's a fat Goose.
869:
Ar.
Come hither, come hither:
870: How did this argument begin?
871:
Boy.
By saying that a Costard was broken in a shin.
872: Then cal'd you for the Lenuoy.
873:
Clow.
True, and I for a Plantan:
874: Thus came your argument in:
875: Then the Boyes fat Lenuoy, the Goose that you bought,
876: And he ended the market.
877:
Ar.
But tell me: How was there a Costard broken in
878: a shin?
879:
Pag.
I will tell you sencibly.
880:
Clow.
Thou hast no feeling of it Moth,
881: I will speake that Lenuoy.
882: I Costard running out, that was safely within,
883: Fell ouer the threshold, and broke my shin.
884:
Arm.
We will talke no more of this matter.
885:
Clow.
Till there be more matter in the shin.
886:
Arm.
Sirra Costard, I will infranchise thee.
887:
Clow.
O, marrie me to one Francis, I smell some Len-uoy,
888: some Goose in this.
889:
Arm.
By my sweete soule, I meane, setting thee at li-bertie.
890: Enfreedoming thy person: thou wert emured,
891: restrained, captiuated, bound.
892:
Clow.
True, true, and now you will be my purgation,
893: and let me loose.
894:
Arm.
I giue thee thy libertie, set thee from durance,
895: and in lieu thereof, impose on thee nothing but this:
896: Beare this significant to the countrey Maide Iaquenetta:
897: there is remuneration, for the best ward of mine honours
898: is rewarding my dependants. Moth, follow.
899:
Pag.
Like the sequell I.
900: Signeur Costard adew. [ Exit.]
901:
Clow.
My sweete ounce of mans flesh, my in-conie
902: Iew: Now will I looke to his remuneration.
903: Remuneration, O, that's the Latine word for three-far-things:
904: Three-farthings remuneration, What's the price
905: of this yncle? i.d. no, Ile giue you a remuneration: Why?
906: It carries it remuneration: Why? It is a fairer name then
907: a French-Crowne. I will neuer buy and sell out of this
908: word.
909: [ Enter Berowne.]
910:
Ber.
O my good knaue Costard, exceedingly well met.
911:
Clow.
Pray you sir, How much Carnation Ribbon
912: may a man buy for a remuneration?
913:
Ber.
What is a remuneration?
914:
Cost.
Marrie sir, halfe pennie farthing.
915:
Ber.
O, Why then threefarthings worth of Silke.
916:
Cost.
I thanke your worship, God be wy you.
917:
Ber.
O stay slaue, I must employ thee:
918: As thou wilt win my fauour, good my knaue,
919: Doe one thing for me that I shall intreate.
920:
Clow.
When would you haue it done sir?
921:
Ber.
O this after-noone.
922:
Clo.
Well, I will doe it sir: Fare you well.
923:
Ber.
O thou knowest not what it is.
924:
Clo.
I shall know sir, when I haue done it.
925:
Ber.
Why villaine thou must know first.
926:
Clo.
I wil come to your worship to morrow morning.
927:
Ber.
It must be done this after-noone,
928: Harke slaue, it is but this:
929: The Princesse comes to hunt here in the Parke,
930: And in her traine there is a gentle Ladie:
931: When tongues speak sweetly, then they name her name,
932: And Rosaline they call her, aske for her:
933: And to her white hand see thou do commend
934: This seal'd-vp counsaile. Ther's thy guerdon: goe.
935:
Clo.
Gardon, O sweete gardon, better then remune-ration,
936: a leuenpence-farthing better: most sweete gar-don.
937: I will doe it sir in print: gardon, remuneration.
938: [ Exit.]
939:
Ber.
O, and I forsooth in loue,
940: I that haue beene loues whip?
941: A verie Beadle to a humerous sigh: A Criticke,
942: Nay, a night-watch Constable.
943: A domineering pedant ore the Boy,
944: Then whom no mortall so magnificent,
945: This wimpled, whyning, purblinde waiward Boy,
946: This signior Iunios gyant dwarfe, don Cupid,
947: Regent of Loue-rimes, Lord of folded armes,
948: Th' annointed soueraigne of sighes and groanes:
949: Liedge of all loyterers and malecontents:
950: Dread Prince of Placcats, King of Codpeeces.
951: Sole Emperator and great generall
952: Of trotting Parrators (O my little heart.)
953: And I to be a Corporall of his field,
954: And weare his colours like a Tumblers hoope.
955: What? I loue, I sue, I seeke a wife,
956: A woman that is like a Germane Cloake,
957: Still a repairing: euer out of frame,
958: And neuer going a right, being a Watch:
959: But being watcht, that it may still goe right.
960: Nay, to be periurde, which is worst of all:
961: And among three, to loue the worst of all,
962: A whitly wanton, with a veluet brow.
963: With two pitch bals stucke in her face for eyes.
964: I, and by heauen, one that will doe the deede,
965: Though Argus were her Eunuch and her garde.
966: And I to sigh for her, to watch for her,
967: To pray for her, go to: it is a plague
968: That Cupid will impose for my neglect,
969: Of his almighty dreadfull little might.
970: Well, I will loue, write, sigh, pray, shue, grone,
971: Some men must loue my Lady, and some Ione.