Shakespeare, William, 1564-1616. Much Ado About Nothing (1623 First Folio Edition)
Electronic Text Center, University of Virginia Library
|
Table of Contents for this work | | All on-line databases | Etext Center Homepage |
About the electronic version
Much Ado About Nothing (1623 First Folio Edition)
Shakespeare, William, 1564-1616
Creation of machine-readable version: Hugh Craig, University of Newcastle
Conversion to TEI.2-conformant markup: University of Virginia Library Electronic Text Center. ca. 190 kilobytes
This version available from the University of Virginia Library.
Charlottesville, Va.
Available from: Oxford Text Archive
http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/modeng/modeng0.browse.html
1992
About the print version
Much Ado About Nothing
The First Folio of Shakespeare
William Shakespeare Editor Charlton Hinman The Norton Facsimile
W.W. Norton & Company, Inc.
New York
1968 Prepared for the University of Virginia Library Electronic Text Center.
Published: 1623
1598-1599
English drama LCSH
Revisions to the electronic version
July 1996 corrector Catherine Tousignant, Electronic Text Center, University of Virginia Added TEI header; updated tagging to conform to local practices
etextcenter@virginia.edu. Commercial use prohibited; all usage governed by our Conditions of Use: http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/conditions.html
Act I
1: Actus primus, Scena prima.
2: [ Enter Leonato Gouernour of Messina, Innogen his wife, He-ro
his daughter, and Beatrice his Neece, with a messenger]
4:
Leonato.
5: I learne in this Letter, that Don Peter of Arra-gon,
6: comes this night to Messina.
7:
Mess.
He is very neere by this: he was not
8: three Leagues off when I left him.
9:
Leon.
How many Gentlemen haue you lost in this
10: action?
11:
Mess.
But few of any sort, and none of name.
12:
Leon.
A victorie is twice it selfe, when the atchieuer
13: brings home full numbers: I finde heere, that Don Pe-ter
14: hath bestowed much honor on a yong Florentine, cal-led
15: Claudio.
16:
Mess.
Much deseru'd on his part, and equally remem-bred
17: by Don Pedro, he hath borne himselfe beyond the
18: promise of his age, doing in the figure of a Lambe, the
19: feats of a Lion, he hath indeede better bettred expecta-tion,
20: then you must expect of me to tell you how.
21:
Leo.
He hath an Vnckle heere in Messina, wil be very
22: much glad of it.
23:
Mess.
I haue alreadie deliuered him letters, and there
24: appeares much ioy in him, euen so much, that ioy could
25: not shew it selfe modest enough, without a badg of bit-ternesse.
26: _
27:
Leo.
Did he breake out into teares?
28:
Mess.
In great measure.
29:
Leo.
A kinde ouerflow of kindnesse, there are no fa-ces
30: truer, then those that are so wash'd, how much bet-ter
31: is it to weepe at ioy, then to ioy at weeping?
32:
Bea.
I pray you, is Signior Mountanto return'd from
33: the warres, or no?
34:
Mess.
I know none of that name, Lady, there was
35: none such in the armie of any sort.
36:
Leon.
What is he that you aske for Neece?
37:
Hero.
My cousin meanes Signior Benedick of Padua
38:
Mess.
O he's return'd, and as pleasant as euer he was.
39:
Beat.
He set vp his bils here in Messina, & challeng'd
40: Cupid at the Flight: and my Vnckles foole reading the
41: Challenge, subscrib'd for Cupid, and challeng'd him at
42: the Burbolt. I pray you, how many hath hee kil'd and
43: eaten in these warres? But how many hath he kil'd? for
44: indeed, I promis'd to eate all of his killing.
45:
Leon.
'Faith Neece, you taxe Signior Benedicke too
46: much, but hee'l be meete with you, I doubt it not.
47:
Mess.
He hath done good seruice Lady in these wars.
48:
Beat.
You had musty victuall, and he hath holpe to
49: ease it: he's a very valiant Trencher-man, hee hath an
50: excellent stomacke.
51:
Mess.
And a good souldier too Lady.
52:
Beat.
And a good souldier to a Lady. But what is he
53: to a Lord?
54:
Mess.
A Lord to a Lord, a man to a man, stuft with
55: all honourable vertues.
56:
Beat.
It is so indeed, he is no lesse then a stuft man:
57: but for the stuffing well, we are all mortall.
58:
Leon.
You must not (sir) mistake my Neece, there is
59: a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick, & her:
60: they neuer meet, but there's a skirmish of wit between
61: them.
62:
Bea.
Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our last con-flict,
63: foure of his fiue wits went halting off, and now is
64: the whole man gouern'd with one: so that if hee haue
65: wit enough to keepe himselfe warme, let him beare it
66: for a difference betweene himselfe and his horse: For it
67: is all the wealth that he hath left, to be knowne a reaso-nable
68: creature. Who is his companion now? He hath
69: euery month a new sworne brother.
70:
Mess.
Is't possible?
71:
Beat.
Very easily possible: he weares his faith but as
72: the fashion of his hat, it euer changes with y next block.
73:
Mess.
I see (Lady) the Gentleman is not in your
74: bookes.
75:
Bea.
No, and he were, I would burne my study. But
76: I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young
77: squarer now, that will make a voyage with him to the
78: diuell?
79:
Mess.
He is most in the company of the right noble
80: Claudio.
81:
Beat.
O Lord, he will hang vpon him like a disease:
82: he is sooner caught then the pestilence, and the taker
83: runs presently mad. God helpe the noble Claudio, if hee
84: haue caught the Benedict, it will cost him a thousand
85: pound ere he be cur'd.
86:
Mess.
I will hold friends with you Lady.
87:
Bea.
Do good friend.
88:
Leo.
You'l ne're run mad Neece.
89:
Bea.
No, not till a hot Ianuary.
90:
Mess.
Don Pedro is approach'd.
91: [ Enter don Pedro, Claudio, Benedicke, Balthasar,
and Iohn the bastard]
93:
Pedro.
Good Signior Leonato, you are come to meet
94: your trouble: the fashion of the world is to auoid cost,
95: and you encounter it.
96:
Leon.
Neuer came trouble to my house in the likenes
97: of your Grace: for trouble being gone, comfort should
98: remaine: but when you depart from me, sorrow abides,
99: and happinesse takes his leaue.
100:
Pedro.
You embrace your charge too willingly: I
101: thinke this is your daughter.
102:
Leonato.
Her mother hath many times told me so.
103:
Bened.
Were you in doubt that you askt her?
104:
Leonato.
Signior Benedicke, no, for then were you a
105: childe.
106:
Pedro.
You haue it full Benedicke, we may ghesse by
107: this, what you are, being a man, truely the Lady fathers
108: her selfe: be happie Lady, for you are like an honorable
109: father.
110:
Ben.
If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not
111: haue his head on her shoulders for al Messina, as like him
112: as she is.
113:
Beat.
I wonder that you will still be talking, signior
114: Benedicke, no body markes you.
115:
Ben.
What my deere Ladie Disdaine! are you yet
116: liuing?
117:
Beat.
Is it possible Disdaine should die, while shee
118: hath such meete foode to feede it, as Signior Benedicke?
119: Curtesie it selfe must conuert to Disdaine, if you come in
120: her presence.
121:
Bene.
Then is curtesie a turne-coate, but it is cer-taine
122: I am loued of all Ladies, onely you excepted: and
123: I would I could finde in my heart that I had not a hard
124: heart, for truely I loue none.
125:
Beat.
A deere happinesse to women, they would else
126: haue beene troubled with a pernitious Suter, I thanke
127: God and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that, I
128: had rather heare my Dog barke at a Crow, than a man
129: sweare he loues me.
130:
Bene.
God keepe your Ladiship still in that minde,
131: so some Gentleman or other shall scape a predestinate
132: scratcht face.
133:
Beat.
Scratching could not make it worse, and 'twere
134: such a face as yours were.
135:
Bene.
Well, you are a rare Parrat teacher.
136:
Beat.
A bird of my tongue, is better than a beast of
137: your.
138:
Ben.
I would my horse had the speed of your tongue,
139: and so good a continuer, but keepe your way a Gods
140: name, I haue done.
141:
Beat.
You alwaies end with a Iades tricke, I know
142: you of old.
143:
Pedro.
This is the summe of all: Leonato, signior Clau-dio,
144: and signior Benedicke; my deere friend Leonato, hath
145: inuited you all, I tell him we shall stay here, at the least
146: a moneth, and he heartily praies some occasion may de-taine
147: vs longer: I dare sweare hee is no hypocrite, but
148: praies from his heart.
149:
Leon.
If you sweare, my Lord, you shall not be for-sworne,
150: let mee bid you welcome, my Lord, being re-conciled
151: to the Prince your brother: I owe you all
152: duetie.
153:
Iohn.
I thanke you, I am not of many words, but I
154: thanke you.
155:
Leon.
Please it your grace leade on?
156:
Pedro.
Your hand Leonato, we will goe together.
157: [ Exeunt. Manet Benedicke and Claudio.]
158:
Clau.
Benedicke, didst thou note the daughter of sig-nior
159: Leonato?
160:
Bene.
I noted her not, but I lookt on her.
161:
Claud.
Is she not a modest yong Ladie?
162:
Bene.
Doe you question me as an honest man should
163: doe, for my simple true iudgement? or would you haue
164: me speake after my custome, as being a professed tyrant
165: to their sexe?
166:
Clau.
No, I pray thee speake in sober iudgement.
167:
Bene.
Why yfaith me thinks shee's too low for a hie
168: praise, too browne for a faire praise, and too little for a
169: great praise, onely this commendation I can affoord her,
170: that were shee other then she is, she were vnhandsome,
171: and being no other, but as she is, I doe not like her.
172:
Clau.
Thou think'st I am in sport, I pray thee tell me
173: truely how thou lik'st her.
174:
Bene.
Would you buie her, that you enquier after
175: her?
176:
Clau.
Can the world buie such a iewell?
177:
Ben.
Yea, and a case to put it into, but speake you this
178: with a sad brow? Or doe you play the flowting iacke, to
179: tell vs Cupid is a good Hare-finder, and Vulcan a rare
180: Carpenter: Come, in what key shall a man take you to
181: goe in the song?
182:
Clau.
In mine eie, she is the sweetest Ladie that euer
183: I lookt on.
184:
Bene.
I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no
185: such matter: there's her cosin, and she were not possest
186: with a furie, exceedes her as much in beautie, as the first
187: of Maie doth the last of December: but I hope you haue
188: no intent to turne husband, haue you?
189:
Clau.
I would scarce trust my selfe, though I had
190: sworne the contrarie, if Hero would be my wife.
191:
Bene.
Ist come to this? in faith hath not the world one
192: man but he will weare his cap with suspition? shall I ne-uer
193: see a batcheller of three score againe? goe to yfaith,
194: and thou wilt needes thrust thy necke into a yoke, weare
195: the print of it, and sigh away sundaies: looke, don Pedro
196: is returned to seeke you.
197: [ Enter don Pedro, Iohn the bastard.]
198:
Pedr.
What secret hath held you here, that you fol-lowed
199: not to Leonatoes?
200:
Bened.
I would your Grace would constraine mee to
201: tell.
202:
Pedro.
I charge thee on thy allegeance.
203:
Ben.
You heare, Count Claudio, I can be secret as a
204: dumbe man, I would haue you thinke so (but on my al-legiance,
205: marke you this, on my allegiance) hee is in
206: loue, With who? now that is your Graces part: marke
207: how short his answere is, with Hero, Leonatoes short
208: daughter.
209:
Clau.
If this were so, so were it vttred.
210:
Bened.
Like the old tale, my Lord, it is not so, nor 'twas
211: not so: but indeede, God forbid it should be so.
212:
Clau.
If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it
213: should be otherwise.
214:
Pedro.
Amen, if you loue her, for the Ladie is verie
215: well worthie.
216:
Clau.
You speake this to fetch me in, my Lord.
217:
Pedr.
By my troth I speake my thought.
218:
Clau.
And in faith, my Lord, I spoke mine.
219:
Bened.
And by my two faiths and troths, my Lord, I
220: speake mine.
221:
Clau.
That I loue her, I feele.
222:
Pedr.
That she is worthie, I know.
223:
Bened.
That I neither feele how shee should be lo-ued,
224: nor know how shee should be worthie, is the
225: opinion that fire cannot melt out of me, I will die in it at
226: the stake.
227:
Pedr.
Thou wast euer an obstinate heretique in the de-spight
228: of Beautie.
229:
Clau.
And neuer could maintaine his part, but in the
230: force of his will
231:
Ben.
That a woman conceiued me, I thanke her: that
232: she brought mee vp, I likewise giue her most humble
233: thankes: but that I will haue a rechate winded in my
234: forehead, or hang my bugle in an inuisible baldricke, all
235: women shall pardon me: because I will not do them the
236: wrong to mistrust any, I will doe my selfe the right to
237: trust none: and the fine is, (for the which I may goe the
238: finer) I will liue a Batchellor.
239:
Pedro.
I shall see thee ere I die, looke pale with loue.
240:
Bene.
With anger, with sicknesse, or with hunger,
241: my Lord, not with loue: proue that euer I loose more
242: blood with loue, then I will get againe with drinking,
243: picke out mine eyes with a Ballet-makers penne, and
244: hang me vp at the doore of a brothel-house for the signe
245: of blinde Cupid.
246:
Pedro.
Well, if euer thou doost fall from this faith,
247: thou wilt proue a notable argument.
248:
Bene.
If I do, hang me in a bottle like a Cat, & shoot
249: at me, and he that hit's me, let him be clapt on the shoul-der,
250: and cal'd Adam.
251:
Pedro.
Well, as time shall trie: In time the sauage
252: Bull doth beare the yoake.
253:
Bene.
The sauage bull may, but if euer the sensible
254: Benedicke beare it, plucke off the bulles hornes, and set
255: them in my forehead, and let me be vildely painted, and
256: in such great Letters as they write, heere is good horse
257: to hire: let them signifie vnder my signe, here you may
258: see Benedicke the married man.
259:
Clau.
If this should euer happen, thou wouldst bee
260: horne mad.
261:
Pedro.
Nay, if Cupid haue not spent all his Quiuer in
262: Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly.
263:
Bene.
I looke for an earthquake too then.
264:
Pedro.
Well, you will temporize with the houres, in
265: the meane time, good Signior Benedicke, repaire to Leo-natoes,
266: commend me to him, and tell him I will not faile
267: him at supper, for indeede he hath made great prepara-tion.
268: _
269:
Bene.
I haue almost matter enough in me for such an
270: Embassage, and so I commit you.
271:
Clau.
To the tuition of God. From my house, if I
272: had it.
273:
Pedro.
The sixt of Iuly. Your louing friend, Benedick.
274:
Bene.
Nay mocke not, mocke not; the body of your
275: discourse is sometime guarded with fragments, and the
276: guardes are but slightly basted on neither, ere you flout
277: old ends any further, examine your conscience, and so I
278: leaue you. [ Exit.]
279:
Clau.
My Liege, your Highnesse now may doe mee
280: good.
281:
Pedro.
My loue is thine to teach, teach it but how,
282: And thou shalt see how apt it is to learne
283: Any hard Lesson that may do thee good.
284:
Clau.
Hath Leonato any sonne my Lord?
285:
Pedro.
No childe but Hero, she's his onely heire.
286: Dost thou affect her Claudio?
287:
Clau.
O my Lord,
288: When you went onward on this ended action,
289: I look'd vpon her with a souldiers eie,
290: That lik'd, but had a rougher taske in hand,
291: Than to driue liking to the name of loue:
292: But now I am return'd, and that warre-thoughts
293: Haue left their places vacant: in their roomes,
294: Come thronging soft and delicate desires,
295: All prompting mee how faire yong Hero is,
296: Saying I lik'd her ere I went to warres.
297:
Pedro.
Thou wilt be like a louer presently,
298: And tire the hearer with a booke of words:
299: If thou dost loue faire Hero, cherish it,
300: And I will breake with her: wast not to this end,
301: That thou beganst to twist so fine a story?
302:
Clau.
How sweetly doe you minister to loue,
303: That know loues griefe by his complexion!
304: But lest my liking might too sodaine seeme,
305: I would haue salu'd it with a longer treatise.
306:
Ped.
What need y bridge much broder then the flood?
307: The fairest graunt is the necessitie:
308: Looke what will serue, is fit: 'tis once, thou louest,
309: And I will fit thee with the remedie,
310: I know we shall haue reuelling to night,
311: I will assume thy part in some disguise,
312: And tell faire Hero I am Claudio,
313: And in her bosome Ile vnclaspe my heart,
314: And take her hearing prisoner with the force
315: And strong incounter of my amorous tale:
316: Then after, to her father will I breake,
317: And the conclusion is, shee shall be thine,
318: In practise let vs put it presently. [ Exeunt.]
319: [ Enter Leonato and an old man, brother to Leonato.]
320:
Leo.
How now brother, where is my cosen your son:
321: hath he prouided this musicke?
322:
Old.
He is very busie about it, but brother, I can tell
323: you newes that you yet dreamt not of.
324:
Lo.
Are they good?
325:
Old.
As the euents stamps them, but they haue a good
326: couer: they shew well outward, the Prince and Count
327: Claudio walking in a thick pleached alley in my orchard,
328: were thus ouer-heard by a man of mine: the Prince dis-couered
329: to Claudio that hee loued my niece your daugh-ter,
330: and meant to acknowledge it this night in a dance,
331: and if hee found her accordant, hee meant to take the
332: present time by the top, and instantly breake with you
333: of it.
334:
Leo.
Hath the fellow any wit that told you this?
335:
Old.
A good sharpe fellow, I will send for him, and
336: question him your selfe.
337:
Leo.
No, no; wee will hold it as a dreame, till it ap-peare
338: it selfe: but I will acquaint my daughter withall,
339: that she may be the better prepared for an answer, if per-aduenture
340: this bee true: goe you and tell her of it: coo-sins,
341: you know what you haue to doe, O I crie you mer-cie
342: friend, goe you with mee and I will vse your skill,
343: good cosin haue a care this busie time. [ Exeunt.]
344: [ Enter Sir Iohn the Bastard, and Conrade his companion.]
345:
Con.
What the good yeere my Lord, why are you
346: thus out of measure sad?
347:
Ioh.
There is no measure in the occasion that breeds,
348: therefore the sadnesse is without limit.
349:
Con.
You should heare reason.
350:
Iohn.
And when I haue heard it, what blessing brin-geth
351: it?
352:
Con.
If not a present remedy, yet a patient sufferance.
353:
Ioh.
I wonder that thou (being as thou saist thou art,
354: borne vnder Saturne) goest about to apply a morall me-dicine,
355: to a mortifying mischiefe: I cannot hide what I
356: am: I must bee sad when I haue cause, and smile at no
357: mans iests, eat when I haue stomacke, and wait for no
358: mans leisure: sleepe when I am drowsie, and tend on no
359: mans businesse, laugh when I am merry, and claw no man
360: in his humor.
361:
Con.
Yea, but you must not make the ful show of this,
362: till you may doe it without controllment, you haue of
363: late stood out against your brother, and hee hath tane
364: you newly into his grace, where it is impossible you
365: should take root, but by the faire weather that you make
366: your selfe, it is needful that you frame the season for your
367: owne haruest.
368:
Iohn.
I had rather be a canker in a hedge, then a rose
369: in his grace, and it better fits my bloud to be disdain'd of
370: all, then to fashion a carriage to rob loue from any: in this
371: (though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man)
372: it must not be denied but I am a plaine dealing villaine, I
373: am trusted with a mussell, and enfranchisde with a clog,
374: therefore I haue decreed, not to sing in my cage: if I had
375: my mouth, I would bite: if I had my liberty, I would do
376: my liking: in the meane time, let me be that I am, and
377: seeke not to alter me.
378:
Con.
Can you make no vse of your discontent?
379:
Iohn.
I will make all vse of it, for I vse it onely.
380: Who comes here? what newes Borachio?
381: [ Enter Borachio.]
382:
Bor.
I came yonder from a great supper, the Prince
383: your brother is royally entertained by Leonato, and I can
384: giue you intelligence of an intended marriage.
385:
Iohn.
Will it serue for any Modell to build mischiefe
386: on? What is hee for a foole that betrothes himselfe to
387: vnquietnesse?
388:
Bor.
Mary it is your brothers right hand.
389:
Iohn.
Who, the most exquisite Claudio?
390:
Bor.
Euen he.
391:
Iohn.
A proper squier, and who, and who, which way
392: lookes he?
393:
Bor.
Mary on Hero, the daughter and Heire of Leo-nato.
394: _
395:
Iohn.
A very forward March-chicke, how came you
396: to this:
397:
Bor.
Being entertain'd for a perfumer, as I was smoa-king
398: a musty roome, comes me the Prince and Claudio,
399: hand in hand in sad conference: I whipt behind the Ar-ras,
400: and there heard it agreed vpon, that the Prince should
401: wooe Hero for himselfe, and hauing obtain'd her, giue
402: her to Count Claudio.
403:
Iohn.
Come, come, let vs thither, this may proue food
404: to my displeasure, that young start-vp hath all the glorie
405: of my ouerthrow: if I can crosse him any way, I blesse
406: my selfe euery way, you are both sure, and will assist
407: mee?
408:
Conr.
To the death my Lord.
409:
Iohn.
Let vs to the great supper, their cheere is the
410: greater that I am subdued, would the Cooke were of my
411: minde: shall we goe proue whats to be done?
412:
Bor.
Wee'll wait vpon your Lordship.
413: [ Exeunt.]
Act II
414: Actus Secundus.
415: [ Enter Leonato, his brother, his wife, Hero his daughter, and
Beatrice his neece, and a kinsman]
417:
Leonato.
Was not Count Iohn here at supper?
418:
Brother.
I saw him not.
419:
Beatrice.
How tartly that Gentleman lookes, I neuer
420: can see him, but I am heart-burn'd an howre after.
421:
Hero.
He is of a very melancholy disposition.
422:
Beatrice.
Hee were an excellent man that were made
423: iust in the mid-way betweene him and Benedicke, the one
424: is too like an image and saies nothing, and the other too
425: like my Ladies eldest sonne, euermore tatling.
426:
Leon.
Then halfe signior Benedicks tongue in Count
427: Iohns mouth, and halfe Count Iohns melancholy in Sig-nior
428: Benedicks face.
429:
Beat.
With a good legge, and a good foot vnckle, and
430: money enough in his purse, such a man would winne any
431: woman in the world, if he could get her good will.
432:
Leon.
By my troth Neece, thou wilt neuer get thee a
433: husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.
434:
Brother.
Infaith shee's too curst.
435:
Beat.
Too curst is more then curst, I shall lessen Gods
436: sending that way: for it is said, God sends a curst Cow
437: short hornes, but to a Cow too curst he sends none.
438:
Leon.
So, by being too curst, God will send you no
439: hornes.
440:
Beat.
Iust, if he send me no husband, for the which
441: blessing, I am at him vpon my knees euery morning and
442: euening: Lord, I could not endure a husband with a
443: beard on his face, I had rather lie in the woollen.
444:
Leonato.
You may light vpon a husband that hath no
445: beard.
446:
Beatrice.
What should I doe with him? dresse him in
447: my apparell, and make him my waiting gentlewoman? he
448: that hath a beard, is more then a youth: and he that hath
449: no beard, is lesse then a man: and hee that is more then a
450: youth, is not for mee: and he that is lesse then a man, I am
451: not for him: therefore I will euen take sixepence in ear-nest
452: of the Berrord, and leade his Apes into hell.
453:
Leon.
Well then, goe you into hell.
454:
Beat.
No, but to the gate, and there will the Deuill
455: meete mee like an old Cuckold with hornes on his head,
456: and say, get you to heauen Beatrice, get you to heauen,
457: heere's no place for you maids, so deliuer I vp my Apes,
458: and away to S[aint]. Peter: for the heauens, hee shewes mee
459: where the Batchellers sit, and there liue wee as merry as
460: the day is long.
461:
Brother.
Well neece, I trust you will be rul'd by your
462: father.
463:
Beatrice.
Yes faith, it is my cosens dutie to make curt-sie,
464: and say, as it please you: but yet for all that cosin, let
465: him be a handsome fellow, or else make an other cursie,
466: and say, father, as it please me.
467:
Leonato.
Well neece, I hope to see you one day fitted
468: with a husband.
469:
Beatrice.
Not till God make men of some other met-tall
470: then earth, would it not grieue a woman to be ouer-mastred
471: with a peece of valiant dust: to make account of
472: her life to a clod of waiward marle? no vnckle, ile none:
473: Adams sonnes are my brethren, and truly I hold it a sinne
474: to match in my kinred.
475:
Leon.
Daughter, remember what I told you, if the
476: Prince doe solicit you in that kinde, you know your an-swere.
477: _
478:
Beatrice.
The fault will be in the musicke cosin, if you
479: be not woed in good time: if the Prince bee too impor-tant,
480: tell him there is measure in euery thing, & so dance
481: out the answere, for heare me Hero, wooing, wedding, &
482: repenting, is as a Scotch jigge, a measure, and a cinque-pace:
483: the first suite is hot and hasty like a Scotch jigge
484: (and full as fantasticall) the wedding manerly modest,
485: (as a measure) full of state & aunchentry, and then comes
486: repentance, and with his bad legs falls into the cinque-pace
487: faster and faster, till he sinkes into his graue.
488:
Leonato.
Cosin you apprehend passing shrewdly.
489:
Beatrice.
I haue a good eye vnckle, I can see a Church
490: by daylight.
491:
Leon.
The reuellers are entring brother, make good
492: roome.
493: [ Enter Prince, Pedro, Claudio, and Benedicke, and Balthasar,
or dumbe Iohn, Maskers with a drum]
495:
Pedro.
Lady, will you walke about with your friend?
496:
Hero.
So you walke softly, and looke sweetly, and say
497: nothing, I am yours for the walke, and especially when I
498: walke away.
499:
Pedro.
With me in your company.
500:
Hero.
I may say so when I please.
501:
Pedro.
And when please you to say so?
502:
Hero.
When I like your fauour, for God defend the
503: Lute should be like the case.
504:
Pedro.
My visor is Philemons roofe, within the house
505: is Loue.
506:
Hero.
Why then your visor should be thatcht.
507:
Pedro.
Speake low if you speake Loue.
508:
Bene.
Well, I would you did like me.
509:
Mar.
So would not I for your owne sake, for I haue
510: manie ill qualities.
511:
Bene.
Which is one?
512:
Mar.
I say my prayers alowd.
513:
Ben.
I loue you the better, the hearers may cry Amen.
514:
Mar.
God match me with a good dauncer.
515:
Balt.
Amen.
516:
Mar.
And God keepe him out of my sight when the
517: daunce is done: answer Clarke.
518:
Balt.
No more words, the Clarke is answered.
519:
Vrsula.
I know you well enough, you are Signior An-thonio.
520: _
521:
Anth.
At a word, I am not.
522:
Vrsula.
I know you by the wagling of your head.
523:
Anth.
To tell you true, I counterfet him.
524:
Vrsu.
You could neuer doe him so ill well, vnlesse
525: you were the very man: here's his dry hand vp & down,
526: you are he, you are he.
527:
Anth.
At a word I am not.
528:
Vrsula.
Come, come, doe you thinke I doe not know
529: you by your excellent wit? can vertue hide it selfe? goe
530: to mumme, you are he, graces will appeare, and there's
531: an end.
532:
Beat.
Will you not tell me who told you so?
533:
Bene.
No, you shall pardon me.
534:
Beat.
Nor will you not tell me who you are?
535:
Bened.
Not now.
536:
Beat.
That I was disdainfull, and that I had my good
537: wit out of the hundred merry tales: well, this was Signi-or
538: Benedicke that said so.
539:
Bene.
What's he?
540:
Beat.
I am sure you know him well enough.
541:
Bene.
Not I, beleeue me.
542:
Beat.
Did he neuer make you laugh?
543:
Bene.
I pray you what is he?
544:
Beat.
Why he is the Princes ieaster, a very dull foole,
545: onely his gift is, in deuising impossible slanders, none
546: but Libertines delight in him, and the commendation is
547: not in his witte, but in his villanie, for hee both pleaseth
548: men and angers them, and then they laugh at him, and
549: beat him: I am sure he is in the Fleet, I would he had
550: boorded me.
551:
Bene.
When I know the Gentleman, Ile tell him what
552: you say.
553:
Beat.
Do, do, hee'l but breake a comparison or two
554: on me, which peraduenture (not markt, or not laugh'd
555: at) strikes him into melancholly, and then there's a Par-tridge
556: wing saued, for the foole will eate no supper that
557: night. We must follow the Leaders.
558:
Ben.
In euery good thing.
559:
Bea.
Nay, if they leade to any ill, I will leaue them
560: at the next turning. [ Exeunt.]
561: [ Musicke for the dance.]
562:
Iohn.
Sure my brother is amorous on Hero, and hath
563: withdrawne her father to breake with him about it: the
564: Ladies follow her, and but one visor remaines.
565:
Borachio.
And that is Claudio, I know him by his bea-ring.
566: _
567:
Iohn.
Are not you signior Benedicke?
568:
Clau.
You know me well, I am hee.
569:
Iohn.
Signior, you are verie neere my Brother in his
570: loue, he is enamor'd on Hero, I pray you disswade him
571: from her, she is no equall for his birth: you may do the
572: part of an honest man in it.
573:
Claudio.
How know you he loues her?
574:
Iohn.
I heard him sweare his affection.
575:
Bor.
So did I too, and he swore he would marrie her
576: to night.
577:
Iohn
Come, let vs to the banquet. [ Ex. manet Clau.]
578:
Clau.
Thus answere I in name of Benedicke,
579: But heare these ill newes with the eares of Claudio:
580: 'Tis certaine so, the Prince woes for himselfe:
581: Friendship is constant in all other things,
582: Saue in the Office and affaires of loue:
583: Therefore all hearts in loue vse their owne tongues.
584: Let euerie eye negotiate for it selfe,
585: And trust no Agent: for beautie is a witch,
586: Against whose charmes, faith melteth into blood:
587: This is an accident of hourely proofe,
588: Which I mistrusted not. Farewell therefore Hero.
589: [ Enter Benedicke.]
590:
Ben.
Count Claudio.
591:
Clau.
Yea, the same.
592:
Ben.
Come, will you goe with me?
593:
Clau.
Whither?
594:
Ben.
Euen to the next Willow, about your own bu-sinesse,
595: Count. What fashion will you weare the Gar-land
596: off? About your necke, like an Vsurers chaine? Or
597: vnder your arme, like a Lieutenants scarfe? You must
598: weare it one way, for the Prince hath got your Hero.
599:
Clau
. I wish him ioy of her.
600:
Ben.
Why that's spoken like an honest Drouier, so
601: they sel Bullockes: but did you thinke the Prince wold
602: haue serued you thus?
603:
Clau.
I pray you leaue me.
604:
Ben.
Ho now you strike like the blindman, 'twas the
605: boy that stole your meate, and you'l beat the post.
606:
Clau
If it will not be, Ile leaue you. [ Exit.]
607:
Ben.
Alas poore hurt fowle, now will he creepe into
608: sedges: But that my Ladie Beatrice should know me, &
609: not know me: the Princes foole! Hah? It may be I goe
610: vnder that title, because I am merrie: yea but so I am
611: apt to do my selfe wrong: I am not so reputed, it is the
612: base (though bitter) disposition of Beatrice, that putt's
613: the world into her person, and so giues me out: well, Ile
614: be reuenged as I may.
615: [ Enter the Prince.]
616:
Pedro.
Now Signior, where's the Count, did you
617: see him?
618:
Bene.
Troth my Lord, I haue played the part of Lady
619: Fame, I found him heere as melancholy as a Lodge in a
620: Warren, I told him, and I thinke, told him true, that your
621: grace had got the will of this young Lady, and I offered
622: him my company to a willow tree, either to make him a
623: garland, as being forsaken, or to binde him a rod, as be-ing
624: worthy to be whipt.
625:
Pedro.
To be whipt, what's his fault?
626:
Bene.
The flat transgression of a Schoole-boy, who
627: being ouer-ioyed with finding a birds nest, shewes it his
628: companion, and he steales it.
629:
Pedro.
Wilt thou make a trust, a transgression? the
630: transgression is in the stealer.
631:
Ben.
Yet it had not been amisse the rod had beene
632: made, and the garland too, for the garland he might haue
633: worne himselfe, and the rod hee might haue bestowed on
634: you, who (as I take it) haue stolne his birds nest.
635:
Pedro.
I will but teach them to sing, and restore them
636: to the owner.
637:
Bene.
If their singing answer your saying, by my faith
638: you say honestly.
639:
Pedro.
The Lady Beatrice hath a quarrell to you, the
640: Gentleman that daunst with her, told her shee is much
641: wrong'd by you.
642:
Bene.
O she misusde me past the indurance of a block:
643: an oake but with one greene leafe on it, would haue an-swered
644: her: my very visor began to assume life, and scold
645: with her: shee told mee, not thinking I had beene my
646: selfe, that I was the Princes Iester, and that I was duller
647: then a great thaw, hudling iest vpon iest, with such im-possible
648: conueiance vpon me, that I stood like a man at a
649: marke, with a whole army shooting at me: shee speakes
650: poynyards, and euery word stabbes: if her breath were
651: as terrible as terminations, there were no liuing neere
652: her, she would infect to the north starre: I would not
653: marry her, though she were indowed with all that Adam
654: had left him before he transgrest, she would haue made
655:
Hercules
haue turnd spit, yea, and haue cleft his club to
656: make the fire too: come, talke not of her, you shall finde
657: her the infernall Ate in good apparell. I would to God
658: some scholler would coniure her, for certainely while she
659: is heere, a man may liue as quiet in hell, as in a sanctuary,
660: and people sinne vpon purpose, because they would goe
661: thither, so indeed all disquiet, horror, and perturbation
662: followes her.
663: [ Enter Claudio and Beatrice, Leonato, Hero.]
664:
Pedro.
Looke heere she comes.
665:
Bene.
Will your Grace command mee any seruice to
666: the worlds end? I will goe on the slightest arrand now
667: to the Antypodes that you can deuise to send me on: I
668: will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the furthest inch
669: of Asia: bring you the length of Prester Iohns foot: fetch
670: you a hayre off the great Chams beard: doe you any em-bassage
671: to the Pigmies, rather then hould three words
672: conference, with this Harpy: you haue no employment
673: for me?
674:
Pedro.
None, but to desire your good company.
675:
Bene.
O God sir, heeres a dish I loue not, I cannot in-dure
676: this Lady tongue. [ Exit.]
677:
Pedr.
Come Lady, come, you haue lost the heart of
678: Signior Benedicke.
679:
Beatr.
Indeed my Lord, hee lent it me a while, and I
680: gaue him vse for it, a double heart for a single one, marry
681: once before he wonne it of mee, with false dice, therefore
682: your Grace may well say I haue lost it.
683:
Pedro.
You haue put him downe Lady, you haue put
684: him downe.
685:
Beat.
So I would not he should do me, my Lord, lest
686: I should prooue the mother of fooles: I haue brought
687: Count Claudio, whom you sent me to seeke.
688:
Pedro.
Why how now Count, wherfore are you sad?
689:
Claud.
Not sad my Lord.
690:
Pedro.
How then? sicke?
691:
Claud.
Neither, my Lord.
692:
Beat.
The Count is neither sad, nor sicke, nor merry,
693: nor well: but ciuill Count, ciuill as an Orange, and some-thing
694: of a iealous complexion.
695:
Pedro.
Ifaith Lady, I thinke your blazon to be true.
696: though Ile be sworne, if hee be so, his conceit is false:
697: heere Claudio, I haue wooed in thy name, and faire Hero
698: is won, I haue broke with her father, and his good will
699: obtained, name the day of marriage, and God giue
700: thee ioy.
701:
Leona.
Count, take of me my daughter, and with her
702: my fortunes: his grace hath made the match, & all grace
703: say, Amen to it.
704:
Beatr.
Speake Count, tis your Qu.
705:
Claud.
Silence is the perfectest Herault of ioy, I were
706: but little happy if I could say, how much? Lady, as you
707: are mine, I am yours, I giue away my selfe for you, and
708: doat vpon the exchange.
709:
Beat.
Speake cosin, or (if you cannot) stop his mouth
710: with a kisse, and let not him speake neither.
711:
Pedro.
In faith Lady you haue a merry heart.
712:
Beatr.
Yea my Lord I thanke it, poore foole it keepes
713: on the windy side of Care, my coosin tells him in his eare
714: that he is in my heart.
715:
Clau.
And so she doth coosin.
716:
Beat.
Good Lord for alliance: thus goes euery one
717: to the world but I, and I am sun-burn'd, I may sit in a cor-ner
718: and cry, heigh ho for a husband.
719:
Pedro.
Lady Beatrice, I will get you one.
720:
Beat.
I would rather haue one of your fathers getting:
721: hath your Grace ne're a brother like you? your father
722: got excellent husbands, if a maid could come by them.
723:
Prince.
Will you haue me? Lady.
724:
Beat.
No, my Lord, vnlesse I might haue another for
725: working-daies, your Grace is too costly to weare euerie
726: day: but I beseech your Grace pardon mee, I was borne
727: to speake all mirth, and no matter.
728:
Prince.
Your silence most offends me, and to be mer-ry,
729: best becomes you, for out of question, you were born
730: in a merry howre.
731:
Beatr.
No sure my Lord, my Mother cried, but then
732: there was a starre daunst, and vnder that was I borne: co-sins
733: God giue you ioy.
734:
Leonato.
Neece, will you looke to those things I told
735: you of?
736:
Beat.
I cry you mercy Vncle, by your Graces pardon.
737: [ Exit Beatrice.]
738:
Prince.
By my troth a pleasant spirited Lady.
739:
Leon.
There's little of the melancholy element in her
740: my Lord, she is neuer sad, but when she sleepes, and not
741: euer sad then: for I haue heard my daughter say, she hath
742: often dreamt of vnhappinesse, and wakt her selfe with
743: laughing.
744:
Pedro.
Shee cannot indure to heare tell of a husband.
745:
Leonato.
O, by no meanes, she mocks all her wooers
746: out of suite.
747:
Prince.
She were an excellent wife for Benedick.
748:
Leonato.
O Lord, my Lord, if they were but a weeke
749: married, they would talke themselues madde.
750:
Prince.
Counte Claudio, when meane you to goe to
751: Church?
752:
Clau.
To morrow my Lord, Time goes on crutches,
753: till Loue haue all his rites.
754:
Leonato.
Not till monday, my deare sonne, which is
755: hence a iust seuen night, and a time too briefe too, to haue
756: all things answer minde.
757:
Prince.
Come, you shake the head at so long a brea-thing,
758: but I warrant thee Claudio, the time shall not goe
759: dully by vs, I will in the interim, vndertake one of Her-cules
760: labors, which is, to bring Signior Benedicke and the
761: Lady Beatrice into a mountaine of affection, th' one with
762: th' other, I would faine haue it a match, and I doubt not
763: but to fashion it, if you three will but minister such assi-stance
764: as I shall giue you direction.
765:
Leonato.
My Lord, I am for you, though it cost mee
766: ten nights watchings.
767:
Claud.
And I my Lord.
768:
Prin.
And you to gentle Hero?
769:
Hero.
I will doe any modest office, my Lord, to helpe
770: my cosin to a good husband.
771:
Prin.
And Benedick is not the vnhopefullest husband
772: that I know: thus farre can I praise him, hee is of a noble
773: straine, of approued valour, and confirm'd honesty, I will
774: teach you how to humour your cosin, that shee shall fall
775: in loue with Benedicke, and I, with your two helpes, will
776: so practise on Benedicke, that in despight of his quicke
777: wit, and his queasie stomacke, hee shall fall in loue with
778: Beatrice: if wee can doe this, Cupid is no longer an Ar-cher,
779: his glory shall be ours, for wee are the onely loue-gods,
780: goe in with me, and I will tell you my drift. [ Exit.]
781: [ Enter Iohn and Borachio.]
782:
Ioh.
It is so, the Count Claudio shal marry the daugh-ter
783: of Leonato.
784:
Bora.
Yea my Lord, but I can crosse it.
785:
Iohn.
Any barre, any crosse, any impediment, will be
786: medicinable to me, I am sicke in displeasure to him, and
787: whatsoeuer comes athwart his affection, ranges euenly
788: with mine, how canst thou crosse this marriage?
789:
Bor.
Not honestly my Lord, but so couertly, that no
790: dishonesty shall appeare in me.
791:
Iohn.
Shew me breefely how.
792:
Bor.
I thinke I told your Lordship a yeere since, how
793: much I am in the fauour of Margaret, the waiting gentle-woman
794: to Hero.
795:
Iohn.
I remember.
796:
Bor.
I can at any vnseasonable instant of the night,
797: appoint her to looke out at her Ladies chamber window.
798:
Iohn.
What life is in that, to be the death of this mar-riage?
799: _
800:
Bor.
The poyson of that lies in you to temper, goe
801: you to the Prince your brother, spare not to tell him, that
802: hee hath wronged his Honor in marrying the renowned
803: Claudio, whose estimation do you mightily hold vp, to a
804: contaminated stale, such a one as Hero.
805:
Iohn.
What proofe shall I make of that?
806:
Bor.
Proofe enough, to misuse the Prince, to vexe
807: Claudio, to vndoe Hero, and kill Leonato, looke you for a-ny
808: other issue?
809:
Iohn.
Onely to despight them, I will endeauour any
810: thing.
811:
Bor.
Goe then, finde me a meete howre, to draw on
812: Pedro and the Count Claudio alone, tell them that you
813: know that Hero loues me, intend a kinde of zeale both
814: to the Prince and Claudio (as in a loue of your brothers
815: honor who hath made this match) and his friends repu-tation,
816: who is thus like to be cosen'd with the semblance
817: of a maid, that you haue discouer'd thus: they will scarce-ly
818: beleeue this without triall: offer them instances which
819: shall beare no lesse likelihood, than to see mee at her
820: chamber window, heare me call Margaret, Hero; heare
821: Margaret terme me Claudio, and bring them to see this
822: the very night before the intended wedding, for in the
823: meane time, I will so fashion the matter, that Hero shall
824: be absent, and there shall appeare such seeming truths of
825: Heroes disloyaltie, that iealousie shall be cal'd assurance,
826: and all the preparation ouerthrowne.
827:
Iohn.
Grow this to what aduerse issue it can, I will
828: put it in practise: be cunning in the working this, and
829: thy fee is a thousand ducates.
830:
Bor.
Be thou constant in the accusation, and my cun-ning
831: shall not shame me.
832:
Iohn.
I will presentlie goe learne their day of marri-age.
833: [ Exit.]
834: [ Enter Benedicke alone.]
835:
Bene.
Boy.
836:
Boy.
Signior.
837:
Bene.
In my chamber window lies a booke, bring it
838: hither to me in the orchard.
839:
Boy
I am heere already sir. [ Exit.]
840:
Bene.
I know that, but I would haue thee hence, and
841: heere againe. I doe much wonder, that one man seeing
842: how much another man is a foole, when he dedicates his
843: behauiours to loue, will after hee hath laught at such
844: shallow follies in others, become the argument of his
845: owne scorne, by falling in loue, & such a man is Claudio.
846: I haue known when there was no musicke with him but
847: the drum and the fife, and now had hee rather heare the
848: taber and the pipe: I haue knowne when he would haue
849: walkt ten mile afoot, to see a good armor, and now will
850: he lie ten nights awake caruing the fashion of a new dub-let:
851: he was wont to speake plaine, & to the purpose (like
852: an honest man & a souldier) and now is he turn'd ortho-graphy,
853: his words are a very fantasticall banquet, iust so
854: many strange dishes: may I be so conuerted, & see with
855: these eyes? I cannot tell, I thinke not: I will not bee
856: sworne, but loue may transforme me to an oyster, but Ile
857: take my oath on it, till he haue made an oyster of me, he
858: shall neuer make me such a foole: one woman is faire, yet
859: I am well: another is wise, yet I am well: another vertu-ous,
860: yet I am well: but till all graces be in one woman,
861: one woman shall not come in my grace: rich shee shall
862: be, that's certaine: wise, or Ile none: vertuous, or Ile ne-uer
863: cheapen her: faire, or Ile neuer looke on her: milde,
864: or come not neere me: Noble, or not for an Angell: of
865: good discourse: an excellent Musitian, and her haire shal
866: be of what colour it please God, hah! the Prince and
867: Monsieur Loue, I will hide me in the Arbor.
868: [ Enter Prince, Leonato, Claudio, and Iacke Wilson.]
869:
Prin.
Come, shall we heare this musicke?
870:
Claud.
Yea my good Lord: how still the euening is.
871: As husht on purpose to grace harmonie.
872:
Prin.
See you where Benedicke hath hid himselfe?
873:
Clau.
O very well my Lord: the musicke ended,
874: Wee'll fit the kid-foxe with a penny worth.
875:
Prince.
Come Balthasar, wee'll heare that song again.
876:
Balth.
O good my Lord, taxe not so bad a voyce,
877: To slander musicke any more then once.
878:
Prin.
It is the witnesse still of excellency,
879: To slander Musicke any more then once.
880:
Prince.
It is the witnesse still of excellencie,
881: To put a strange face on his owne perfection,
882: I pray thee sing, and let me woe no more.
883:
Balth.
Because you talke of wooing, I will sing,
884: Since many a wooer doth commence his suit,
885: To her he thinkes not worthy, yet he wooes,
886: Yet will he sweare he loues.
887:
Prince.
Nay pray thee come,
888: Or if thou wilt hold longer argument,
889: Doe it in notes.
890:
Balth.
Note this before my notes,
891: Theres not a note of mine that's worth the noting.
892:
Prince.
Why these are very crotchets that he speaks,
893: Note notes forsooth, and nothing.
894:
Bene.
Now diuine aire, now is his soule rauisht, is it
895: not strange that sheepes guts should hale soules out of
896: mens bodies? well, a horne for my money when all's
897: done.
898: [ The Song.]
899: Sigh no more Ladies, sigh no more,
900: Men were deceiuers euer,
901: One foote in Sea, and one on shore,
902: To one thing constant neuer,
903: Then sigh not so, but let them goe,
904: And be you blithe and bonnie,
905: Conuerting all your sounds of woe,
906: Into hey nony nony.
907: Sing no more ditties, sing no moe,
908: Of dumps so dull and heauy,
909: The fraud of men were euer so,
910: Since summer first was leauy,
911: Then sigh not so, &c.
912:
Prince.
By my troth a good song.
913:
Balth.
And an ill singer, my Lord.
914:
Prince.
Ha, no, no faith, thou singst well enough for a
915: shift.
916:
Ben.
And he had been a dog that should haue howld
917: thus, they would haue hang'd him, and I pray God his
918: bad voyce bode no mischiefe, I had as liefe haue heard
919: the night-rauen, come what plague could haue come af-ter
920: it.
921:
Prince.
Yea marry, dost thou heare Balthasar? I pray
922: thee get vs some excellent musick: for to morrow night
923: we would haue it at the Lady Heroes chamber window.
924:
Balth
The best I can, my Lord. [ Exit Balthasar.]
925:
Prince.
Do so, farewell. Come hither Leonato, what
926: was it you told me of to day, that your Niece Beatrice
927: was in loue with signior Benedicke?
928:
Cla.
O I, stalke on, stalke on, the foule sits. I did ne-uer
929: thinke that Lady would haue loued any man.
930:
Leon.
No, nor I neither, but most wonderful, that she
931: should so dote on Signior Benedicke, whom shee hath in
932: all outward behauiours seemed euer to abhorre.
933:
Bene.
Is't possible? sits the winde in that corner?
934:
Leo.
By my troth my Lord, I cannot tell what to
935: thinke of it, but that she loues him with an inraged affe-ction,
936: it is past the infinite of thought.
937:
Prince.
May be she doth but counterfeit.
938:
Claud.
Faith like enough.
939:
Leon.
O God! counterfeit? there was neuer counter-feit
940: of passion, came so neere the life of passion as she dis-couers
941: it.
942:
Prince.
Why what effects of passion shewes she?
943:
Claud.
Baite the hooke well, this fish will bite.
944:
Leon.
What effects my Lord? shee will sit you, you
945: heard my daughter tell you how.
946:
Clau.
She did indeed.
947:
Prince.
How, how I pray you? you amaze me, I would
948: haue thought her spirit had beene inuincible against all
949: assaults of affection.
950:
Leo.
I would haue sworne it had, my Lord, especially
951: against Benedicke.
952:
Bene.
I should thinke this a gull, but that the white-bearded
953: fellow speakes it: knauery cannot sure hide
954: himselfe in such reuerence.
955:
Claud.
He hath tane th' infection, hold it vp.
956:
Prince.
Hath shee made her affection known to Bene-dicke:
957: _
958:
Leonato.
No, and sweares she neuer will, that's her
959: torment.
960:
Claud.
'Tis true indeed, so your daughter saies: shall
961: I, saies she, that haue so oft encountred him with scorne,
962: write to him that I loue him?
963:
Leo.
This saies shee now when shee is beginning to
964: write to him, for shee'll be vp twenty times a night, and
965: there will she sit in her smocke, till she haue writ a sheet
966: of paper: my daughter tells vs all.
967:
Clau.
Now you talke of a sheet of paper, I remember
968: a pretty iest your daughter told vs of.
969:
Leon.
O when she had writ it, & was reading it ouer,
970: she found Benedicke and Beatrice betweene the sheete.
971:
Clau.
That.
972:
Leon.
O she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence,
973: raild at her self, that she should be so immodest to write,
974: to one that shee knew would flout her: I measure him,
975: saies she, by my owne spirit, for I should flout him if hee
976: writ to mee, yea though I loue him, I should.
977:
Clau.
Then downe vpon her knees she falls, weepes,
978: sobs, beates her heart, teares her hayre, praies, curses, O
979: sweet Benedicke, God giue me patience.
980:
Leon.
She doth indeed, my daughter saies so, and the
981: extasie hath so much ouerborne her, that my daughter is
982: somtime afeard she will doe a desperate out-rage to her
983: selfe, it is very true.
984:
Prince.
It were good that Benedicke knew of it by some
985: other, if she will not discouer it.
986:
Clau.
To what end? he would but make a sport of it,
987: and torment the poore Lady worse.
988:
Prin.
And he should, it were an almes to hang him,
989: shee's an excellent sweet Lady, and (out of all suspition,)
990: she is vertuous.
991:
Claudio.
And she is exceeding wise.
992:
Prince.
In euery thing, but in louing Benedicke.
993:
Leon.
O my Lord, wisedome and bloud combating in
994: so tender a body, we haue ten proofes to one, that bloud
995: hath the victory, I am sorry for her, as I haue iust cause,
996: being her Vncle, and her Guardian.
997:
Prince.
I would shee had bestowed this dotage on
998: mee, I would haue daft all other respects, and made her
999: halfe my selfe: I pray you tell Benedicke of it, and heare
1000: what he will say.
1001:
Leon.
Were it good thinke you?
1002:
Clau.
Hero thinkes surely she wil die, for she saies she
1003: will die, if hee loue her not, and shee will die ere shee
1004: make her loue knowne, and she will die if hee wooe her,
1005: rather than shee will bate one breath of her accustomed
1006: crossenesse.
1007:
Prince.
She doth well, if she should make tender of her
1008: loue, 'tis very possible hee'l scorne it, for the man (as you
1009: know all) hath a contemptible spirit.
1010:
Clau.
He is a very proper man.
1011:
Prin.
He hath indeed a good outward happines.
1012:
Clau.
'Fore God, and in my minde very wise.
1013:
Prin.
He doth indeed shew some sparkes that are like
1014: wit.
1015:
Leon.
And I take him to be valiant.
1016:
Prin.
As Hector, I assure you, and in the managing of
1017: quarrels you may see hee is wise, for either hee auoydes
1018: them with great discretion, or vndertakes them with a
1019: Christian-like feare.
1020:
Leon.
If hee doe feare God, a must necessarilie keepe
1021: peace, if hee breake the peace, hee ought to enter into a
1022: quarrell with feare and trembling.
1023:
Prin.
And so will he doe, for the man doth fear God,
1024: howsoeuer it seemes not in him, by some large ieasts hee
1025: will make: well, I am sorry for your niece, shall we goe
1026: see Benedicke, and tell him of her loue.
1027:
Claud.
Neuer tell him, my Lord, let her weare it out
1028: with good counsell.
1029:
Leon.
Nay that's impossible, she may weare her heart
1030: out first.
1031:
Prin.
Well, we will heare further of it by your daugh-ter,
1032: let it coole the while, I loue Benedicke well, and I
1033: could wish he would modestly examine himselfe, to see
1034: how much he is vnworthy to haue so good a Lady.
1035:
Leon.
My Lord, will you walke? dinner is ready.
1036:
Clau.
If he do not doat on her vpon this, I wil neuer
1037: trust my expectation.
1038:
Prin.
Let there be the same Net spread for her, and
1039: that must your daughter and her gentlewoman carry:
1040: the sport will be, when they hold one an opinion of ano-thers
1041: dotage, and no such matter, that's the Scene that I
1042: would see, which will be meerely a dumbe shew: let vs
1043: send her to call him into dinner. [ Exeunt.]
1044:
Bene.
This can be no tricke, the conference was sadly
1045: borne, they haue the truth of this from Hero, they seeme
1046: to pittie the Lady: it seemes her affections haue the full
1047: bent: loue me? why it must be requited: I heare how I
1048: am censur'd, they say I will beare my selfe proudly, if I
1049: perceiue the loue come from her: they say too, that she
1050: will rather die than giue any signe of affection: I did ne-uer
1051: thinke to marry, I must not seeme proud, happy are
1052: they that heare their detractions, and can put them to
1053: mending: they say the Lady is faire, 'tis a truth, I can
1054: beare them witnesse: and vertuous, tis so, I cannot re-prooue
1055: it, and wise, but for louing me, by my troth it is
1056: no addition to her witte, nor no great argument of her
1057: folly; for I wil be horribly in loue with her, I may chance
1058: haue some odde quirkes and remnants of witte broken
1059: on mee, because I haue rail'd so long against marriage:
1060: but doth not the appetite alter? a man loues the meat in
1061: his youth, that he cannot indure in his age. Shall quips
1062: and sentences, and these paper bullets of the braine awe
1063: a man from the careere of his humour? No, the world
1064: must be peopled. When I said I would die a batcheler, I
1065: did not think I should liue till I were maried, here comes
1066: Beatrice: by this day, shee's a faire Lady, I doe spie some
1067: markes of loue in her.
1068: [ Enter Beatrice.]
1069:
Beat.
Against my wil I am sent to bid you come in to
1070: dinner.
1071:
Bene.
Faire Beatrice, I thanke you for your paines.
1072:
Beat.
I tooke no more paines for those thankes, then
1073: you take paines to thanke me, if it had been painefull, I
1074: would not haue come.
1075:
Bene.
You take pleasure then in the message.
1076:
Beat.
Yea iust so much as you may take vpon a kniues
1077: point, and choake a daw withall: you haue no stomacke
1078: signior, fare you well. [ Exit.]
1079:
Bene.
Ha, against my will I am sent to bid you come
1080: into dinner: there's a double meaning in that: I tooke
1081: no more paines for those thankes then you took paines
1082: to thanke me, that's as much as to say, any paines that I
1083: take for you is as easie as thankes: if I do not take pitty
1084: of her I am a villaine, if I doe not loue her I am a Iew, I
1085: will goe get her picture. [ Exit.]
Act III
1086: Actus Tertius.
1087: [ Enter Hero and two Gentlemen, Margaret, and Vrsula.]
1088:
Hero.
Good Margaret runne thee to the parlour,
1089: There shalt thou finde my Cosin Beatrice,
1090: Proposing with the Prince and Claudio,
1091: Whisper her eare, and tell her I and Vrsula,
1092: Walke in the Orchard, and our whole discourse
1093: Is all of her, say that thou ouer-heardst vs,
1094: And bid her steale into the pleached bower,
1095: Where hony-suckles ripened by the sunne,
1096: Forbid the sunne to enter: like fauourites,
1097: Made proud by Princes, that aduance their pride,
1098: Against that power that bred it, there will she hide her,
1099: To listen our purpose, this is thy office,
1100: Beare thee well in it, and leaue vs alone.
1101:
Marg.
Ile make her come I warrant you presently.
1102:
Hero.
Now Vrsula, when Beatrice doth come,
1103: As we do trace this alley vp and downe,
1104: Our talke must onely be of Benedicke,
1105: When I doe name him, let it be thy part,
1106: To praise him more then euer man did merit,
1107: My talke to thee must be how Benedicke
1108: Is sicke in loue with Beatrice; of this matter,
1109: Is little Cupids crafty arrow made,
1110: That onely wounds by heare-say: now begin,
1111: [ Enter Beatrice.]
1112: For looke where Beatrice like a Lapwing runs
1113: Close by the ground, to heare our conference.
1114:
Vrs.
The pleasant'st angling is to see the fish
1115: Cut with her golden ores the siluer streame,
1116: And greedily deuoure the treacherous baite:
1117: So angle we for Beatrice, who euen now,
1118: Is couched in the wood-bine couerture,
1119: Feare you not my part of the Dialogue.
1120:
Her.
Then go we neare her that her eare loose nothing,
1121: Of the false sweete baite that we lay for it:
1122: No truely Vrsula, she is too disdainfull,
1123: I know her spirits are as coy and wilde,
1124: As Haggerds of the rocke.
1125:
Vrsula.
But are you sure,
1126: That Benedicke loues Beatrice so intirely?
1127:
Her.
So saies the Prince, and my new trothed Lord.
1128:
Vrs.
And did they bid you tell her of it, Madam?
1129:
Her.
They did intreate me to acquaint her of it,
1130: But I perswaded them, if they lou'd Benedicke,
1131: To wish him wrastle with affection,
1132: And neuer to let Beatrice know of it.
1133:
Vrsula.
Why did you so, doth not the Gentleman
1134: Deserue as full as fortunate a bed,
1135: As euer Beatrice shall couch vpon?
1136:
Hero.
O God of loue! I know he doth deserue,
1137: As much as may be yeelded to a man:
1138: But Nature neuer fram'd a womans heart,
1139: Of prowder stuffe then that of Beatrice:
1140: Disdaine and Scorne ride sparkling in her eyes,
1141: Mis-prizing what they looke on, and her wit
1142: Values it selfe so highly, that to her
1143: All matter else seemes weake: she cannot loue,
1144: Nor take no shape nor proiect of affection,
1145: Shee is so selfe indeared.
1146:
Vrsula.
Sure I thinke so,
1147: And therefore certainely it were not good
1148: She knew his loue, lest she make sport at it.
1149:
Hero.
Why you speake truth, I neuer yet saw man,
1150: How wise, how noble, yong, how rarely featur'd.
1151: But she would spell him backward: if faire fac'd,
1152: She would sweare the gentleman should be her sister:
1153: If blacke, why Nature drawing of an anticke,
1154: Made a foule blot: if tall, a launce ill headed:
1155: If low, an agot very vildlie cut:
1156: If speaking, why a vane blowne with all windes:
1157: If silent, why a blocke moued with none.
1158: So turnes she euery man the wrong side out,
1159: And neuer giues to Truth and Vertue, that
1160: Which simplenesse and merit purchaseth.
1161:
Vrsu.
Sure, sure, such carping is not commendable.
1162:
Hero.
No, not to be so odde, and from all fashions,
1163: As Beatrice is, cannot be commendable,
1164: But who dare tell her so? if I should speake,
1165: She would mocke me into ayre, O she would laugh me
1166: Out of my selfe, presse me to death with wit,
1167: Therefore let Benedicke like couered fire,
1168: Consume away in sighes, waste inwardly:
1169: It were a better death, to die with mockes,
1170: Which is as bad as die with tickling.
1171:
Vrsu.
Yet tell her of it, heare what shee will say.
1172:
Hero.
No, rather I will goe to Benedicke,
1173: And counsaile him to fight against his passion,
1174: And truly Ile deuise some honest slanders,
1175: To staine my cosin with, one doth not know,
1176: How much an ill word may impoison liking.
1177:
Vrsu.
O doe not doe your cosin such a wrong,
1178: She cannot be so much without true iudgement,
1179: Hauing so swift and excellent a wit
1180: As she is prisde to haue, as to refuse
1181: So rare a Gentleman as signior Benedicke.
1182:
Hero.
He is the onely man of Italy,
1183: Alwaies excepted, my deare Claudio.
1184:
Vrsu.
I pray you be not angry with me, Madame,
1185: Speaking my fancy: Signior Benedicke,
1186: For shape, for bearing argument and valour,
1187: Goes formost in report through Italy.
1188:
Hero.
Indeed he hath an excellent good name.
1189:
Vrsu.
His excellence did earne it ere he had it:
1190: When are you married Madame?
1191:
Hero.
Why euerie day to morrow, come goe in,
1192: Ile shew thee some attires, and haue thy counsell,
1193: Which is the best to furnish me to morrow.
1194:
Vrsu.
Shee's tane I warrant you,
1195: We haue caught her Madame?
1196:
Hero.
If it proue so, then louing goes by haps,
1197: Some Cupid kills with arrowes, some with traps. [ Exit.]
1198:
Beat.
What fire is in mine eares? can this be true?
1199: Stand I condemn'd for pride and scorne so much?
1200: Contempt, farewell, and maiden pride, adew,
1201: No glory liues behinde the backe of such.
1202: And Benedicke, loue on, I will requite thee,
1203: Taming my wilde heart to thy louing hand:
1204: If thou dost loue, my kindnesse shall incite thee
1205: To binde our loues vp in a holy band.
1206: For others say thou dost deserue, and I
1207: Beleeue it better then reportingly. [ Exit.]
1208: [ Enter Prince, Claudio, Benedicke, and Leonato.]
1209:
Prince.
I doe but stay till your marriage be consum-mate,
1210: and then go I toward Arragon.
1211:
Clau.
Ile bring you thither my Lord, if you'l vouch-safe
1212: me.
1213:
Prin.
Nay, that would be as great a soyle in the new
1214: glosse of your marriage, as to shew a childe his new coat
1215: and forbid him to weare it, I will onely bee bold with
1216: Benedicke for his companie, for from the crowne of his
1217: head, to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth, he hath twice
1218: or thrice cut Cupids bow-string, and the little hang-man
1219: dare not shoot at him, he hath a heart as sound as a bell,
1220: and his tongue is the clapper, for what his heart thinkes,
1221: his tongue speakes.
1222:
Bene.
Gallants, I am not as I haue bin.
1223:
Leo.
So say I, methinkes you are sadder.
1224:
Claud.
I hope he be in loue.
1225:
Prin.
Hang him truant, there's no true drop of bloud
1226: in him to be truly toucht with loue, if he be sad, he wants
1227: money.
1228:
Bene.
I haue the tooth-ach.
1229:
Prin.
Draw it.
1230:
Bene.
Hang it.
1231:
Claud.
You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards.
1232:
Prin.
What? sigh for the tooth-ach.
1233:
Leon.
Where is but a humour or a worme.
1234:
Bene.
Well, euery one cannot master a griefe, but hee
1235: that has it.
1236:
Clau.
Yet say I, he is in loue.
1237:
Prin.
There is no appearance of fancie in him, vnlesse
1238: it be a fancy that he hath to strange disguises, as to bee a
1239: Dutchman to day, a Frenchman to morrow: vnlesse hee
1240: haue a fancy to this foolery, as it appeares hee hath, hee
1241: is no foole for fancy, as you would haue it to appeare
1242: he is.
1243:
Clau.
If he be not in loue with some woman, there
1244: is no beleeuing old signes, a brushes his hat a mornings,
1245: What should that bode?
1246:
Prin.
Hath any man seene him at the Barbers?
1247:
Clau.
No, but the Barbers man hath beene seen with
1248: him, and the olde ornament of his cheeke hath alreadie
1249: stuft tennis balls.
1250:
Leon.
Indeed he lookes yonger than hee did, by the
1251: losse of a beard.
1252:
Prin.
Nay a rubs himselfe with Ciuit, can you smell
1253: him out by that?
1254:
Clau.
That's as much as to say, the sweet youth's in
1255: loue.
1256:
Prin.
The greatest note of it is his melancholy.
1257:
Clau.
And when was he wont to wash his face?
1258:
Prin.
Yea, or to paint himselfe? for the which I heare
1259: what they say of him.
1260:
Clau.
Nay, but his iesting spirit, which is now crept
1261: into a lute-string, and now gouern'd by stops.
1262:
Prin.
Indeed that tels a heauy tale for him: conclude,
1263: he is in loue.
1264:
Clau.
Nay, but I know who loues him.
1265:
Prince.
That would I know too, I warrant one that
1266: knowes him not.
1267:
Cla.
Yes, and his ill conditions, and in despight of all,
1268: dies for him.
1269:
Prin.
Shee shall be buried with her face vpwards.
1270:
Bene.
Yet is this no charme for the tooth-ake, old sig-nior,
1271: walke aside with mee, I haue studied eight or nine
1272: wise words to speake to you, which these hobby-horses
1273: must not heare.
1274:
Prin.
For my life to breake with him about Beatrice.
1275:
Clau.
'Tis euen so, Hero and Margaret haue by this
1276: played their parts with Beatrice, and then the two Beares
1277: will not bite one another when they meete.
1278: [ Enter Iohn the Bastard.]
1279:
Bast.
My Lord and brother, God saue you.
1280:
Prin.
Good den brother.
1281:
Bast.
If your leisure seru'd, I would speake with you.
1282:
Prince.
In priuate?
1283:
Bast.
If it please you, yet Count Claudio may heare,
1284: for what I would speake of, concernes him.
1285:
Prin.
What's the matter?
1286:
Basta.
Meanes your Lordship to be married to mor-row?
1287: _
1288:
Prin.
You know he does.
1289:
Bast.
I know not that when he knowes what I know.
1290:
Clau.
If there be any impediment, I pray you disco-uer
1291: it.
1292:
Bast.
You may thinke I loue you not, let that appeare
1293: hereafter, and ayme better at me by that I now will ma-nifest,
1294: for my brother (I thinke, he holds you well, and in
1295: dearenesse of heart) hath holpe to effect your ensuing
1296: marriage: surely sute ill spent, and labour ill bestowed.
1297:
Prin.
Why, what's the matter?
1298:
Bastard.
I came hither to tell you, and circumstances
1299: shortned, (for she hath beene too long a talking of) the
1300: Lady is disloyall.
1301:
Clau.
Who Hero?
1302:
Bast.
Euen shee, Leonatoes Hero, your Hero, euery
1303: mans Hero.
1304:
Clau.
Disloyall?
1305:
Bast.
The word is too good to paint out her wicked-nesse,
1306: I could say she were worse, thinke you of a worse
1307: title, and I will fit her to it: wonder not till further war-rant:
1308: goe but with mee to night, you shal see her cham-ber
1309: window entred, euen the night before her wedding
1310: day, if you loue her, then to morrow wed her: But it
1311: would better fit your honour to change your minde.
1312:
Claud.
May this be so?
1313:
Princ.
I will not thinke it.
1314:
Bast.
If you dare not trust that you see, confesse not
1315: that you know: if you will follow mee, I will shew you
1316: enough, and when you haue seene more, & heard more,
1317: proceed accordingly.
1318:
Clau.
If I see any thing to night, why I should not
1319: marry her to morrow in the congregation, where I shold
1320: wedde, there will I shame her.
1321:
Prin.
And as I wooed for thee to obtaine her, I will
1322: ioyne with thee to disgrace her.
1323:
Bast.
I will disparage her no farther, till you are my
1324: witnesses, beare it coldly but till night, and let the issue
1325: shew it selfe.
1326:
Prin.
O day vntowardly turned!
1327:
Claud.
O mischiefe strangelie thwarting!
1328:
Bastard.
O plague right well preuented! so will you
1329: say, when you haue seene the sequele. [ Exit.]
1330: [ Enter Dogbery and his compartner with the watch.]
1331:
Dog.
Are you good men and true?
1332:
Verg.
Yea, or else it were pitty but they should suffer
1333: saluation body and soule.
1334:
Dogb.
Nay, that were a punishment too good for
1335: them, if they should haue any allegiance in them, being
1336: chosen for the Princes watch.
1337:
Verges.
Well, giue them their charge, neighbour
1338: Dogbery.
1339:
Dog.
First, who thinke you the most desartlesse man
1340: to be Constable.
1341:
Watch.1.
Hugh Ote-cake sir, or George Sea-coale, for
1342: they can write and reade.
1343:
Dogb.
Come hither neighbour Sea-coale, God hath
1344: blest you with a good name: to be a wel-fauoured man,
1345: is the gift of Fortune, but to write and reade, comes by
1346: Nature.
1347:
Watch 2.
Both which Master Constable
1348:
Dogb.
You haue: I knew it would be your answere:
1349: well, for your fauour sir, why giue God thankes, & make
1350: no boast of it, and for your writing and reading, let that
1351: appeare when there is no need of such vanity, you are
1352: thought heere to be the most senslesse and fit man for the
1353: Constable of the watch: therefore beare you the lan-thorne:
1354: this is your charge: You shall comprehend all
1355: vagrom men, you are to bid any man stand in the Prin-ces
1356: name.
1357:
Watch 2.
How if a will not stand?
1358:
Dogb.
Why then take no note of him, but let him go,
1359: and presently call the rest of the Watch together, and
1360: thanke God you are ridde of a knaue.
1361:
Verges.
If he will not stand when he is bidden, hee is
1362: none of the Princes subiects.
1363:
Dogb.
True, and they are to meddle with none but
1364: the Princes subiects: you shall also make no noise in the
1365: streetes: for, for the Watch to babble and talke, is most
1366: tollerable, and not to be indured.
1367:
Watch.
We will rather sleepe than talke, wee know
1368: what belongs to a Watch.
1369:
Dog.
Why you speake like an ancient and most quiet
1370: watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping should offend:
1371: only haue a care that your bills be not stolne: well, you
1372: are to call at all the Alehouses, and bid them that are
1373: drunke get them to bed.
1374:
Watch.
How if they will not?
1375:
Dogb.
Why then let them alone till they are sober, if
1376: they make you not then the better answere, you may say,
1377: they are not the men you tooke them for.
1378:
Watch.
Well sir,
1379:
Dogb.
If you meet a theefe, you may suspect him, by
1380: vertue of your office, to be no true man: and for such
1381: kinde of men, the lesse you meddle or make with them,
1382: why the more is for your honesty.
1383:
Watch.
If wee know him to be a thiefe, shall wee not
1384: lay hands on him.
1385:
Dogb.
Truly by your office you may, but I think they
1386: that touch pitch will be defil'd: the most peaceable way
1387: for you, if you doe take a theefe, is, to let him shew him-selfe
1388: what he is, and steale out of your company.
1389:
Ver.
You haue bin alwaies cal'd a merciful ma[n] partner.
1390:
Dog.
Truely I would not hang a dog by my will, much
1391: more a man who hath anie honestie in him.
1392:
Verges.
If you heare a child crie in the night you must
1393: call to the nurse, and bid her still it.
1394:
Watch.
How if the nurse be asleepe and will not
1395: heare vs?
1396:
Dog.
Why then depart in peace, and let the childe
1397: wake her with crying, for the ewe that will not heare
1398: her Lambe when it baes, will neuer answere a calfe when
1399: he bleates.
1400:
Verges.
'Tis verie true.
1401:
Dog.
This is the end of the charge: you constable
1402: are to present the Princes owne person, if you meete the
1403: Prince in the night, you may staie him.
1404:
Verges.
Nay birladie that I thinke a cannot.
1405:
Dog.
Fiue shillings to one on't with anie man that
1406: knowes the Statutes, he may staie him, marrie not with-out
1407: the prince be willing, for indeed the watch ought to
1408: offend no man, and it is an offence to stay a man against
1409: his will.
1410:
Verges.
Birladie I thinke it be so.
1411:
Dog.
Ha, ah ha, well masters good night, and there be
1412: anie matter of weight chances, call vp me, keepe your
1413: fellowes counsailes, and your owne, and good night,
1414: come neighbour.
1415:
Watch.
Well masters, we heare our charge, let vs go
1416: sit here vpon the Church bench till two, and then all to
1417: bed.
1418:
Dog.
One word more, honest neighbors. I pray you
1419: watch about signior Leonatoes doore, for the wedding be-ing
1420: there to morrow, there is a great coyle to night,
1421: adiew, be vigitant I beseech you. [ Exeunt.]
1422: [ Enter Borachio and Conrade.]
1423:
Bor.
What, Conrade?
1424:
Watch.
Peace, stir not.
1425:
Bor.
Conrade I say.
1426:
Con.
Here man, I am at thy elbow.
1427:
Bor.
Mas and my elbow itcht, I thought there would
1428: a scabbe follow.
1429:
Con.
I will owe thee an answere for that, and now
1430: forward with thy tale.
1431:
Bor.
Stand thee close then vnder this penthouse, for it
1432: drissels raine, and I will, like a true drunkard, vtter all to
1433: thee.
1434:
Watch.
Some treason masters, yet stand close.
1435:
Bor.
Therefore know, I haue earned of Don Iohn a
1436: thousand Ducates.
1437:
Con.
Is it possible that anie villanie should be so deare?
1438:
Bor.
Thou should'st rather aske if it were possible a-nie
1439: villanie should be so rich? for when rich villains haue
1440: neede of poore ones, poore ones may make what price
1441: they will.
1442:
Con.
I wonder at it.
1443:
Bor.
That shewes thou art vnconfirm'd, thou knowest
1444: that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloake, is no-thing
1445: to a man.
1446:
Con.
Yes, it is apparell.
1447:
Bor.
I meane the fashion.
1448:
Con.
Yes the fashion is the fashion.
1449:
Bor.
Tush, I may as well say the foole's the foole, but
1450: seest thou not what a deformed theefe this fashion is?
1451:
Watch.
I know that deformed, a has bin a vile theefe,
1452: this vii. yeares, a goes vp and downe like a gentle man:
1453: I remember his name.
1454:
Bor.
Did'st thou not heare some bodie?
1455:
Con.
No, 'twas the vaine on the house.
1456:
Bor.
Seest thou not (I say) what a deformed thiefe
1457: this fashion is, how giddily a turnes about all the Hot-blouds,
1458: betweene, foureteene & fiue & thirtie, sometimes
1459: fashioning them like Pharaoes souldiours in the rechie
1460: painting, sometime like god Bels priests in the old
1461: Church window, sometime like the shauen Hercules in
1462: the smircht worm-eaten tapestrie, where his cod-peece
1463: seemes as massie as his club.
1464:
Con.
All this I see, and see that the fashion weares out
1465: more apparrell then the man; but art not thou thy selfe
1466: giddie with the fashion too that thou hast shifted out of
1467: thy tale into telling me of the fashion?
1468:
Bor.
Not so neither, but know that I haue to night
1469: wooed Margaret the Lady Heroes gentle-woman, by the
1470: name of Hero, she leanes me out at her mistris chamber-window,
1471: bids me a thousand times good night: I tell
1472: this tale vildly. I should first tell thee how the Prince
1473: Claudio and my Master planted, and placed, and possessed
1474: by my Master Don Iohn, saw a far off in the Orchard this
1475: amiable incounter.
1476:
Con.
And thought thy Margaret was Hero?
1477:
Bor.
Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio, but the
1478: diuell my Master knew she was Margaret and partly by
1479: his oathes, which first possest them, partly by the darke
1480: night which did deceiue them, but chiefely, by my villa-nie,
1481: which did confirme any slander that Don Iohn had
1482: made, away went Claudio enraged, swore hee would
1483: meete her as he was apointed next morning at the Tem-ple,
1484: and there, before the whole congregation shame her
1485: with what he saw o're night, and send her home againe
1486: without a husband.
1487:
Watch.1.
We charge you in the Princes name stand.
1488:
Watch.2.
Call vp the right master Constable, we haue
1489: here recouered the most dangerous peece of lechery, that
1490: euer was knowne in the Common-wealth.
1491:
Watch.1.
And one Deformed is one of them, I know
1492: him, a weares a locke.
1493:
Conr.
Masters, masters.
1494:
Watch.2.
Youle be made bring deformed forth I war-rant
1495: you,
1496:
Conr.
Masters, neuer speake, we charge you, let vs o-bey
1497: you to goe with vs.
1498:
Bor.
We are like to proue a goodly commoditie, be-ing
1499: taken vp of these mens bils.
1500:
Conr.
A commoditie in question I warrant you, come
1501: weele obey you. [ Exeunt.]
1502: [ Enter Hero, and Margaret, and Vrsula.]
1503:
Hero.
Good Vrsula wake my cosin Beatrice, and de-sire
1504: her to rise.
1505:
Vrsu.
I will Lady.
1506:
Her.
And bid her come hither.
1507:
Vrs.
Well.
1508:
Mar.
Troth I thinke your other rebato were better.
1509:
Hero.
No pray thee good Meg, Ile weare this.
1510:
Marg.
By my troth's not so good, and I warrant your
1511: cosin will say so.
1512:
Hero.
My cosin's a foole, and thou art another, ile
1513: weare none but this.
1514:
Mar.
I like the new tire within excellently, if the
1515: haire were a thought browner: and your gown's a most
1516: rare fashion yfaith, I saw the Dutchesse of Millaines
1517: gowne that they praise so.
1518:
Hero.
O that exceedes they say.
1519:
Mar.
By my troth's but a night-gowne in respect of
1520: yours, cloth a gold and cuts, and lac'd with siluer, set with
1521: pearles, downe sleeues, side sleeues, and skirts, round vn-derborn
1522: with a blewish tinsel, but for a fine queint grace-full
1523: and excellent fashion, yours is worth ten on't.
1524:
Hero.
God giue mee ioy to weare it, for my heart is
1525: exceeding heauy.
1526:
Marga.
'Twill be heauier soone, by the waight of a
1527: man.
1528:
Hero.
Fie vpon thee, art not asham'd?
1529:
Marg.
Of what Lady? of speaking honourably? is
1530: not marriage honourable in a beggar? is not your Lord
1531: honourable without marriage? I thinke you would haue
1532: me say, sauing your reuerence a husband: and bad thin-king
1533: doe not wrest true speaking, Ile offend no body, is
1534: there any harme in the heauier for a husband? none I
1535: thinke, and it be the right husband, and the right wife,
1536: otherwise 'tis light and not heauy, aske my Lady Beatrice
1537: else, here she comes.
1538: [ Enter Beatrice.]
1539:
Hero.
Good morrow Coze.
1540:
Beat.
Good morrow sweet Hero.
1541:
Hero.
Why how now? do you speake in the sick tune?
1542:
Beat.
I am out of all other tune, me thinkes.
1543:
Mar.
Claps into Light a loue, (that goes without a
1544: burden,) do you sing it and Ile dance it.
1545:
Beat.
Ye Light aloue with your heeles, then if your
1546: husband haue stables enough, you'll looke he shall lacke
1547: no barnes.
1548:
Mar.
O illegitimate construction! I scorne that with
1549: my heeles.
1550:
Beat.
'Tis almost fiue a clocke cosin, 'tis time you
1551: were ready, by my troth I am exceeding ill, hey ho.
1552:
Mar.
For a hauke, a horse, or a husband?
1553:
Beat.
For the letter that begins them all, H.
1554:
Mar.
Well, and you be not turn'd Turke, there's no
1555: more sayling by the starre.
1556:
Beat.
What meanes the foole trow?
1557:
Mar.
Nothing I, but God send euery one their harts
1558: desire.
1559:
Hero.
These gloues the Count sent mee, they are an
1560: excellent perfume.
1561:
Beat.
I am stuft cosin, I cannot smell.
1562:
Mar.
A maid and stuft! there's goodly catching of
1563: colde.
1564:
Beat.
O God helpe me, God help me, how long haue
1565: you profest apprehension?
1566:
Mar.
Euer since you left it, doth not my wit become
1567: me rarely?
1568:
Beat.
It is not seene enough, you should weare it in
1569: your cap, by my troth I am sicke.
1570:
Mar.
Get you some of this distill'd carduus benedictus
1571: and lay it to your heart, it is the onely thing for a qualm.
1572:
Hero.
There thou prick'st her with a thissell.
1573:
Beat.
Benedictus, why benedictus? you haue some mo-rall
1574: in this benedictus.
1575:
Mar.
Morall? no by my troth, I haue no morall mea-ning,
1576: I meant plaine holy thissell, you may thinke per-chance
1577: that I thinke you are in loue, nay birlady I am not
1578: such a foole to thinke what I list, nor I list not to thinke
1579: what I can, nor indeed, I cannot thinke, if I would thinke
1580: my hart out of thinking, that you are in loue, or that you
1581: will be in loue, or that you can be in loue: yet Benedicke
1582: was such another, and now is he become a man, he swore
1583: hee would neuer marry, and yet now in despight of his
1584: heart he eates his meat without grudging, and how you
1585: may be conuerted I know not, but me thinkes you looke
1586: with your eies as other women doe.
1587:
Beat.
What pace is this that thy tongue keepes.
1588:
Mar.
Not a false gallop.
1589: [ Enter Vrsula.]
1590:
Vrsula.
Madam, withdraw, the Prince, the Count, sig-nior
1591: Benedicke, Don Iohn, and all the gallants of the
1592: towne are come to fetch you to Church.
1593:
Hero.
Helpe me to dresse mee good coze, good Meg,
1594: good Vrsula.
1595: [ Enter Leonato, and the Constable, and the Headborough.]
1596:
Leonato.
What would you with mee, honest neigh-bour?
1597:
Const.Dog.
Mary sir I would haue some confidence
1598: with you, that decernes you nearely.
1599:
Leon.
Briefe I pray you, for you see it is a busie time
1600: with me.
1601:
Const.Dog.
Mary this it is sir.
1602:
Headb.
Yes in truth it is sir.
1603:
Leon.
What is it my good friends?
1604:
Con.Do.
Goodman Verges sir speakes a little of the
1605: matter, an old man sir, and his wits are not so blunt, as
1606: God helpe I would desire they were, but infaith honest
1607: as the skin betweene his browes.
1608:
Head.
Yes I thank God, I am as honest as any man li-uing,
1609: that is an old man, and no honester then I.
1610:
Con.Dog.
Comparisons are odorous, palabras, neigh-bour
1611: Verges.
1612:
Leon.
Neighbours, you are tedious.
1613:
Con.Dog.
It pleases your worship to say so, but we are
1614: the poore Dukes officers, but truely for mine owne part,
1615: if I were as tedious as a King I could finde in my heart to
1616: bestow it all of your worship.
1617:
Leon.
All thy tediousnesse on me, ah?
1618:
Const.Dog.
Yea, and 'twere a thousand times more
1619: than 'tis, for I heare as good exclamation on your Wor-ship
1620: as of any man in the Citie, and though I bee but a
1621: poore man, I am glad to heare it.
1622:
Head.
And so am I.
1623:
Leon.
I would faine know what you haue to say.
1624:
Head.
Marry sir our watch to night, excepting your
1625: worships presence, haue tane a couple of as arrant
1626: knaues as any in Messina.
1627:
Con.Dog.
A good old man sir, hee will be talking as
1628: they say, when the age is in, the wit is out, God helpe vs,
1629: it is a world to see: well said yfaith neighbour Verges,
1630: well, God's a good man, and two men ride of a horse,
1631: one must ride behinde, an honest soule yfaith sir, by my
1632: troth he is, as euer broke bread, but God is to bee wor-shipt,
1633: all men are not alike, alas good neighbour.
1634:
Leon.
Indeed neighbour he comes too short of you.
1635:
Con.Do.
Gifts that God giues.
1636:
Leon.
I must leaue you.
1637:
Con.Dog.
One word sir, our watch sir haue indeede
1638: comprehended two aspitious persons, & we would haue
1639: them this morning examined before your worship.
1640:
Leon.
Take their examination your selfe, and bring it
1641: me, I am now in great haste, as may appeare vnto you.
1642:
Const.
It shall be suffigance.
1643:
Leon
Drinke some wine ere you goe: fare you well. [ Exit.]
1644:
Messenger.
My Lord, they stay for you to giue your
1645: daughter to her husband.
1646:
Leon.
Ile wait vpon them, I am ready.
1647:
Dogb.
Goe good partner, goe get you to Francis Sea-coale,
1648: bid him bring his pen and inkehorne to the Gaole:
1649: we are now to examine those men.
1650:
Verges.
And we must doe it wisely.
1651:
Dogb.
Wee will spare for no witte I warrant you:
1652: heere's that shall driue some to a non-come, on-ly
1653: get the learned writer to set downe our excommuni-cation,
1654: and meet me at the Iaile. [ Exeunt.]
Act IV
1655: Actus Quartus.
1656: [ Enter Prince, Bastard, Leonato, Frier, Claudio, Benedicke,
Hero, and Beatrice]
1658:
Leonato.
Come Frier Francis, be briefe, onely to the
1659: plaine forme of marriage, and you shal recount their par-ticular
1660: duties afterwards.
1661:
Fran.
You come hither, my Lord, to marry this Lady.
1662:
Clau.
No.
1663:
Leo.
To be married to her: Frier, you come to mar-rie
1664: her.
1665:
Frier.
Lady, you come hither to be married to this
1666: Count.
1667:
Hero.
I doe.
1668:
Frier.
If either of you know any inward impediment
1669: why you should not be conioyned, I charge you on your
1670: soules to vtter it.
1671:
Claud.
Know you anie, Hero?
1672:
Hero.
None my Lord.
1673:
Frier.
Know you anie, Count?
1674:
Leon.
I dare make his answer, None.
1675:
Clau.
O what men dare do! what men may do! what
1676: men daily do!
1677:
Bene.
How now! interiections? why then, some be
1678: of laughing, as ha, ha, he.
1679:
Clau.
Stand thee by Frier, father, by your leaue,
1680: Will you with free and vnconstrained soule
1681: Giue me this maid your daughter?
1682:
Leon.
As freely sonne as God did giue her me.
1683:
Cla.
And what haue I to giue you back, whose worth
1684: May counterpoise this rich and precious gift?
1685:
Prin.
Nothing, vnlesse you render her againe.
1686:
Clau.
Sweet Prince, you learn me noble thankfulnes:
1687: There Leonato, take her backe againe,
1688: Giue not this rotten Orenge to your friend,
1689: Shee's but the signe and semblance of her honour:
1690: Behold how like a maid she blushes heere!
1691: O what authoritie and shew of truth
1692: Can cunning sinne couer it selfe withall!
1693: Comes not that bloud, as modest euidence,
1694: To witnesse simple Vertue? would you not sweare
1695: All you that see her, that she were a maide,
1696: By these exterior shewes? But she is none:
1697: She knowes the heat of a luxurious bed:
1698: Her blush is guiltinesse, not modestie.
1699:
Leonato.
What doe you meane, my Lord?
1700:
Clau.
Not to be married,
1701: Not to knit my soule to an approued wanton.
1702:
Leon.
Deere my Lord, if you in your owne proofe,
1703: Haue vanquisht the resistance of her youth,
1704: And made defeat of her virginitie.
1705:
Clau.
I know what you would say: if I haue knowne
1706: (her,
1707: You will say, she did imbrace me as a husband,
1708: And so extenuate the forehand sinne: No Leonato,
1709: I neuer tempted her with word too large,
1710: But as a brother to his sister, shewed
1711: Bashfull sinceritie and comely loue.
1712:
Hero.
And seem'd I euer otherwise to you?
1713:
Clau.
Out on thee seeming, I will write against it,
1714: You seeme to me as Diane in her Orbe,
1715: As chaste as is the budde ere it be blowne:
1716: But you are more intemperate in your blood,
1717: Than Venus, or those pampred animalls,
1718: That rage in sauage sensualitie.
1719:
Hero.
Is my Lord well, that he doth speake so wide?
1720:
Leon.
Sweete Prince, why speake not you?
1721:
Prin.
What should I speake?
1722: I stand dishonour'd that haue gone about,
1723: To linke my deare friend to a common stale.
1724:
Leon.
Are these things spoken, or doe I but dreame?
1725:
Bast.
Sir, they are spoken, and these things are true.
1726:
Bene.
This lookes not like a nuptiall.
1727:
Hero.
True, O God!
1728:
Clau.
Leonato, stand I here?
1729: Is this the Prince? is this the Princes brother?
1730: Is this face Heroes? are our eies our owne?
1731:
Leon.
All this is so, but what of this my Lord?
1732:
Clau.
Let me but moue one question to your daughter,
1733: And by that fatherly and kindly power,
1734: That you haue in her, bid her answer truly.
1735:
Leo.
I charge thee doe, as thou art my childe.
1736:
Hero.
O God defend me how am I beset,
1737: What kinde of catechizing call you this?
1738:
Clau.
To make you answer truly to your name.
1739:
Hero.
Is it not Hero? who can blot that name
1740: With any iust reproach?
1741:
Claud.
Marry that can Hero,
1742: Hero it selfe can blot out Heroes vertue.
1743: What man was he, talkt with you yesternight,
1744: Out at your window betwixt twelue and one?
1745: Now if you are a maid, answer to this.
1746:
Hero.
I talkt with no man at that howre my Lord.
1747:
Prince.
Why then you are no maiden. Leonato,
1748: I am sorry you must heare: vpon mine honor,
1749: My selfe, my brother, and this grieued Count
1750: Did see her, heare her, at that howre last night,
1751: Talke with a ruffian at her chamber window,
1752: Who hath indeed most like a liberall villaine,
1753: Confest the vile encounters they haue had
1754: A thousand times in secret.
1755:
Iohn.
Fie, fie, they are not to be named my Lord,
1756: Not to be spoken of,
1757: There is not chastitie enough in language,
1758: Without offence to vtter them: thus pretty Lady
1759: I am sorry for thy much misgouernment.
1760:
Claud.
O Hero! what a Hero hadst thou beene
1761: If halfe thy outward graces had beene placed
1762: About thy thoughts and counsailes of thy heart?
1763: But fare thee well, most foule, most faire, farewell
1764: Thou pure impiety, and impious puritie,
1765: For thee Ile locke vp all the gates of Loue,
1766: And on my eie-lids shall Coniecture hang,
1767: To turne all beauty into thoughts of harme,
1768: And neuer shall it more be gracious.
1769:
Leon.
Hath no mans dagger here a point for me?
1770:
Beat.
Why how now cosin, wherfore sink you down?
1771:
Bast.
Come, let vs go: these things come thus to light,
1772: Smother her spirits vp.
1773:
Bene.
How doth the Lady?
1774:
Beat.
Dead I thinke, helpe vncle,
1775: Hero, why Hero, Vncle, Signor Benedicke, Frier.
1776:
Leonato.
O Fate! take not away thy heauy hand,
1777: Death is the fairest couer for her shame
1778: That may be wisht for.
1779:
Beatr.
How now cosin Hero?
1780:
Fri.
Haue comfort Ladie.
1781:
Leon.
Dost thou looke vp?
1782:
Frier.
Yea, wherefore should she not?
1783:
Leon.
Wherfore? Why doth not euery earthly thing
1784: Cry shame vpon her? Could she heere denie
1785: The storie that is printed in her blood?
1786: Do not liue Hero, do not ope thine eyes:
1787: For did I thinke thou wouldst not quickly die,
1788: Thought I thy spirits were stronger then thy shames,
1789: My selfe would on the reward of reproaches
1790: Strike at thy life. Grieu'd I, I had but one?
1791: Chid I, for that at frugal Natures frame?
1792: O one too much by thee: why had I one?
1793: Why euer was't thou louelie in my eies?
1794: Why had I not with charitable hand
1795: Tooke vp a beggars issue at my gates,
1796: Who smeered thus, and mir'd with infamie,
1797: I might haue said, no part of it is mine:
1798: This shame deriues it selfe from vnknowne loines,
1799: But mine, and mine I lou'd, and mine I prais'd,
1800: And mine that I was proud on mine so much,
1801: That I my selfe, was to my selfe not mine:
1802: Valewing of her, why she, O she is falne
1803: Into a pit of Inke, that the wide sea
1804: Hath drops too few to wash her cleane againe,
1805: And salt too little, which may season giue
1806: To her foule tainted flesh.
1807:
Ben.
Sir, sir, be patient: for my part, I am so attired
1808: in wonder, I know not what to say.
1809:
Bea.
O on my soule my cosin is belied.
1810:
Ben.
Ladie, were you her bedfellow last night?
1811:
Bea.
No, truly: not although vntill last night,
1812: I haue this tweluemonth bin her bedfellow.
1813:
Leon.
Confirm'd, confirm'd, O that is stronger made
1814: Which was before barr'd vp with ribs of iron.
1815: Would the Princes lie, and Claudio lie,
1816: Who lou'd her so, that speaking of her foulnesse,
1817: Wash'd it with teares? Hence from her, let her die.
1818:
Fri.
Heare me a little, for I haue onely bene silent so
1819: long, and giuen way vnto this course of fortune, by no-ting
1820: of the Ladie, I haue markt.
1821: A thousand blushing apparitions,
1822: To start into her face, a thousand innocent shames,
1823: In Angel whitenesse beare away those blushes,
1824: And in her eie there hath appear'd a fire
1825: To burne the errors that these Princes hold
1826: Against her maiden truth. Call me a foole,
1827: Trust not my reading, nor my obseruations,
1828: Which with experimental seale doth warrant
1829: The tenure of my booke: trust not my age,
1830: My reuerence, calling, nor diuinitie,
1831: If this sweet Ladie lye not guiltlesse heere,
1832: Vnder some biting error.
1833:
Leo.
Friar, it cannot be:
1834: Thou seest that all the Grace that she hath left,
1835: Is, that she wil not adde to her damnation,
1836: A sinne of periury, she not denies it:
1837: Why seek'st thou then to couer with excuse,
1838: That which appeares in proper nakednesse?
1839:
Fri.
Ladie, what man is he you are accus'd of?
1840:
Hero.
They know that do accuse me, I know none:
1841: If I know more of any man aliue
1842: Then that which maiden modestie doth warrant,
1843: Let all my sinnes lacke mercy. O my Father,
1844: Proue you that any man with me conuerst,
1845: At houres vnmeete, or that I yesternight
1846: Maintain'd the change of words with any creature,
1847: Refuse me, hate me, torture me to death.
1848:
Fri.
There is some strange misprision in the Princes.
1849:
Ben.
Two of them haue the verie bent of honor,
1850: And if their wisedomes be misled in this:
1851: The practise of it liues in Iohn the bastard,
1852: Whose spirits toile in frame of villanies.
1853:
Leo.
I know not: if they speake but truth of her,
1854: These hands shall teare her: If they wrong her honour,
1855: The proudest of them shall wel heare of it.
1856: Time hath not yet so dried this bloud of mine,
1857: Nor age so eate vp my inuention,
1858: Nor Fortune made such hauocke of my meanes,
1859: Nor my bad life reft me so much of friends,
1860: But they shall finde, awak'd in such a kinde,
1861: Both strength of limbe, and policie of minde,
1862: Ability in meanes, and choise of friends,
1863: To quit me of them throughly.
1864:
Fri.
Pause awhile:
1865: And let my counsell sway you in this case,
1866: Your daughter heere the Princesse (left for dead)
1867: Let her awhile be secretly kept in,
1868: And publish it, that she is dead indeed:
1869: Maintaine a mourning ostentation,
1870: And on your Families old monument,
1871: Hang mournfull Epitaphes, and do all rites,
1872: That appertaine vnto a buriall.
1873:
Leon.
What shall become of this? What wil this do?
1874:
Fri.
Marry this wel carried, shall on her behalfe,
1875: Change slander to remorse, that is some good,
1876: But not for that dreame I on this strange course,
1877: But on this trauaile looke for greater birth:
1878: She dying, as it must be so maintain'd,
1879: Vpon the instant that she was accus'd,
1880: Shal be lamented, pittied, and excus'd
1881: Of euery hearer: for it so fals out,
1882: That what we haue, we prize not to the worth,
1883: Whiles we enioy it; but being lack'd and lost,
1884: Why then we racke the value, then we finde
1885: The vertue that possession would not shew vs
1886: Whiles it was ours, so will it fare with Claudio:
1887: When he shal heare she dyed vpon his words,
1888: Th' Idea of her life shal sweetly creepe
1889: Into his study of imagination.
1890: And euery louely Organ of her life,
1891: Shall come apparel'd in more precious habite:
1892: More mouing delicate, and ful of life,
1893: Into the eye and prospect of his soule
1894: Then when she liu'd indeed: then shal he mourne,
1895: If euer Loue had interest in his Liuer,
1896: And wish he had not so accused her:
1897: No, though he thought his accusation true:
1898: Let this be so, and doubt not but successe
1899: Wil fashion the euent in better shape,
1900: Then I can lay it downe in likelihood.
1901: But if all ayme but this be leuelld false,
1902: The supposition of the Ladies death,
1903: Will quench the wonder of her infamie.
1904: And if it sort not well, you may conceale her
1905: As best befits her wounded reputation,
1906: In some reclusiue and religious life,
1907: Out of all eyes, tongues, mindes and iniuries.
1908:
Bene.
Signior Leonato, let the Frier aduise you,
1909: And though you know my inwardnesse and loue
1910: Is very much vnto the Prince and Claudio.
1911: Yet, by mine honor, I will deale in this,
1912: As secretly and iustlie, as your soule
1913: Should with your bodie.
1914:
Leon.
Being that I flow in greefe,
1915: The smallest twine may lead me.
1916:
Frier.
'Tis well consented, presently away,
1917: For to strange sores, strangely they straine the cure,
1918: Come Lady, die to liue, this wedding day
1919: Perhaps is but prolong'd, haue patience & endure. [ Exit.]
1920:
Bene.
Lady Beatrice, haue you wept all this while?
1921:
Beat.
Yea, and I will weepe a while longer.
1922:
Bene.
I will not desire that.
1923:
Beat.
You haue no reason, I doe it freely.
1924:
Bene.
Surelie I do beleeue your fair cosin is wrong'd.
1925:
Beat.
Ah, how much might the man deserue of mee
1926: that would right her!
1927:
Bene.
Is there any way to shew such friendship?
1928:
Beat.
A verie euen way, but no such friend.
1929:
Bene.
May a man doe it?
1930:
Beat.
It is a mans office, but not yours.
1931:
Bene.
I doe loue nothing in the world so well as you,
1932: is not that strange?
1933:
Beat.
As strange as the thing I know not, it were as
1934: possible for me to say, I loued nothing so well as you, but
1935: beleeue me not, and yet I lie not, I confesse nothing, nor
1936: I deny nothing, I am sorry for my cousin.
1937:
Bene.
By my sword Beatrice thou lou'st me.
1938:
Beat.
Doe not sweare by it and eat it.
1939:
Bene.
I will sweare by it that you loue mee, and I will
1940: make him eat it that sayes I loue not you.
1941:
Beat.
Will you not eat your word?
1942:
Bene.
With no sawce that can be deuised to it, I pro-test
1943: I loue thee.
1944:
Beat.
Why then God forgiue me.
1945:
Bene.
What offence sweet Beatrice?
1946:
Beat.
You haue stayed me in a happy howre, I was a-bout
1947: to protest I loued you.
1948:
Bene.
And doe it with all thy heart.
1949:
Beat.
I loue you with so much of my heart, that none
1950: is left to protest.
1951:
Bened.
Come, bid me doe any thing for thee.
1952:
Beat.
Kill Claudio.
1953:
Bene.
Ha, not for the wide world.
1954:
Beat.
You kill me to denie, farewell.
1955:
Bene.
Tarrie sweet Beatrice.
1956:
Beat.
I am gone, though I am heere, there is no loue
1957: in you, nay I pray you let me goe.
1958:
Bene.
Beatrice.
1959:
Beat.
Infaith I will goe.
1960:
Bene.
Wee'll be friends first.
1961:
Beat.
You dare easier be friends with mee, than fight
1962: with mine enemy.
1963:
Bene.
Is Claudio thine enemie?
1964:
Beat.
Is a not approued in the height a villaine, that
1965: hath slandered, scorned, dishonoured my kinswoman? O
1966: that I were a man! what, beare her in hand vntill they
1967: come to take hands, and then with publike accusation
1968: vncouered slander, vnmittigated rancour? O God that I
1969: were a man! I would eat his heart in the market-place.
1970:
Bene.
Heare me Beatrice.
1971:
Beat.
Talke with a man out at a window, a proper
1972: saying.
1973:
Bene.
Nay but Beatrice.
1974:
Beat.
Sweet Hero, she is wrong'd, shee is slandered,
1975: she is vndone.
1976:
Bene.
Beat?
1977:
Beat.
Princes and Counties! surelie a Princely testi-monie,
1978: a goodly Count, Comfect, a sweet Gallant sure-lie,
1979: O that I were a man for his sake! or that I had any
1980: friend would be a man for my sake! But manhood is mel-ted
1981: into cursies, valour into complement, and men are
1982: onelie turned into tongue, and trim ones too: he is now
1983: as valiant as Hercules, that only tells a lie, and sweares it:
1984: I cannot be a man with wishing, therfore I will die a wo-man
1985: with grieuing.
1986:
Bene.
Tarry good Beatrice, by this hand I loue thee.
1987:
Beat.
Vse it for my loue some other way then swea-ring
1988: by it.
1989:
Bened.
Thinke you in your soule the Count Claudio
1990: hath wrong'd Hero?
1991:
Beat.
Yea, as sure as I haue a thought, or a soule.
1992:
Bene.
Enough, I am engagde, I will challenge him, I
1993: will kisse your hand, and so leaue you: by this hand Clau-dio
1994: shall render me a deere account: as you heare of me,
1995: so thinke of me: goe comfort your coosin, I must say she
1996: is dead, and so farewell.
1997: [ Enter the Constables, Borachio, and the Towne Clerke
in gownes]
1999:
Keeper.
Is our whole dissembly appeard?
2000:
Cowley.
O a stoole and a cushion for the Sexton.
2001:
Sexton.
Which be the malefactors?
2002:
Andrew.
Marry that am I, and my partner.
2003:
Cowley.
Nay that's certaine, wee haue the exhibition
2004: to examine.
2005:
Sexton.
But which are the offenders that are to be ex-amined,
2006: let them come before master Constable.
2007:
Kemp.
Yea marry, let them come before mee, what is
2008: your name, friend?
2009:
Bor.
Borachio.
2010:
Kem.
Pray write downe Borachio. Yours sirra.
2011:
Con.
I am a Gentleman sir, and my name is Conrade.
2012:
Kee.
Write downe Master gentleman Conrade: mai-sters,
2013: doe you serue God: maisters, it is proued alreadie
2014: that you are little better than false knaues, and it will goe
2015: neere to be thought so shortly, how answer you for your
2016: selues?
2017:
Con.
Marry sir, we say we are none.
2018:
Kemp.
A maruellous witty fellow I assure you, but I
2019: will goe about with him: come you hither sirra, a word
2020: in your eare sir, I say to you, it is thought you are false
2021: knaues.
2022:
Bor.
Sir, I say to you, we are none.
2023:
Kemp.
Well, stand aside, 'fore God they are both in
2024: a tale: haue you writ downe that they are none?
2025:
Sext.
Master Constable, you goe not the way to ex-amine,
2026: you must call forth the watch that are their ac-cusers.
2027: _
2028:
Kemp.
Yea marry, that's the eftest way, let the watch
2029: come forth: masters, I charge you in the Princes name,
2030: accuse these men.
2031:
Watch 1.
This man said sir, that Don Iohn the Princes
2032: brother was a villaine.
2033:
Kemp.
Write down, Prince Iohn a villaine: why this
2034: is flat periurie, to call a Princes brother villaine.
2035:
Bora.
Master Constable.
2036:
Kemp.
Pray thee fellow peace, I do not like thy looke
2037: I promise thee.
2038:
Sexton.
What heard you him say else?
2039:
Watch 2.
Mary that he had receiued a thousand Du-kates
2040: of Don Iohn, for accusing the Lady Hero wrong-fully.
2041: _
2042:
Kemp.
Flat Burglarie as euer was committed.
2043:
Const.
Yea by th' masse that it is.
2044:
Sexton.
What else fellow?
2045:
Watch 1.
And that Count Claudio did meane vpon his
2046: words, to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly, and
2047: not marry her.
2048:
Kemp.
O villaine! thou wilt be condemn'd into euer-lasting
2049: redemption for this.
2050:
Sexton.
What else?
2051:
Watch.
This is all.
2052:
Sexton.
And this is more masters then you can deny,
2053: Prince Iohn is this morning secretly stolne away: Hero
2054: was in this manner accus'd, in this very manner refus'd,
2055: and vpon the griefe of this sodainely died: Master Con-stable,
2056: let these men be bound, and brought to Leonato,
2057: I will goe before, and shew him their examination.
2058:
Const.
Come, let them be opinion'd.
2059:
Sex.
Let them be in the hands of Coxcombe.
2060:
Kem.
Gods my life, where's the Sexton? let him write
2061: downe the Princes Officer Coxcombe: come, binde them
2062: thou naughty varlet.
2063:
Couley.
Away, you are an asse, you are an asse.
2064:
Kemp.
Dost thou not suspect my place? dost thou not
2065: suspect my yeeres? O that hee were heere to write mee
2066: downe an asse! but masters, remember that I am an asse:
2067: though it be not written down, yet forget not y I am an
2068: asse: No thou villaine, y art full of piety as shall be prou'd
2069: vpon thee by good witnesse, I am a wise fellow, and
2070: which is more, an officer, and which is more, a houshoul-der,
2071: and which is more, as pretty a peece of flesh as any in
2072: Messina, and one that knowes the Law, goe to, & a rich
2073: fellow enough, goe to, and a fellow that hath had losses,
2074: and one that hath two gownes, and euery thing hand-some
2075: about him: bring him away: O that I had been writ
2076: downe an asse! [ Exit.]
Act V
2077: Actus Quintus.
2078: [ Enter Leonato and his brother.]
2079:
Brother.
If you goe on thus, you will kill your selfe,
2080: And 'tis not wisedome thus to second griefe,
2081: Against your selfe.
2082:
Leon.
I pray thee cease thy counsaile,
2083: Which falls into mine eares as profitlesse,
2084: As water in a siue: giue not me counsaile,
2085: Nor let no comfort delight mine eare,
2086: But such a one whose wrongs doth sute with mine.
2087: Bring me a father that so lou'd his childe,
2088: Whose ioy of her is ouer-whelmed like mine,
2089: And bid him speake of patience,
2090: Measure his woe the length and bredth of mine,
2091: And let it answere euery straine for straine,
2092: As thus for thus, and such a griefe for such,
2093: In euery lineament, branch, shape, and forme:
2094: If such a one will smile and stroke his beard,
2095: And sorrow, wagge, crie hem, when he should grone,
2096: Patch griefe with prouerbs, make misfortune drunke,
2097: With candle-wasters: bring him yet to me,
2098: And I of him will gather patience:
2099: But there is no such man, for brother, men
2100: Can counsaile, and speake comfort to that griefe,
2101: Which they themselues not feele, but tasting it,
2102: Their counsaile turnes to passion, which before,
2103: Would giue preceptiall medicine to rage,
2104: Fetter strong madnesse in a silken thred,
2105: Charme ache with ayre, and agony with words,
2106: No, no, 'tis all mens office, to speake patience
2107: To those that wring vnder the load of sorrow:
2108: But no mans vertue nor sufficiencie
2109: To be so morall, when he shall endure
2110: The like himselfe: therefore giue me no counsaile,
2111: My griefs cry lowder then aduertisement.
2112:
Broth.
Therein do men from children nothing differ.
2113:
Leonato.
I pray thee peace, I will be flesh and bloud,
2114: For there was neuer yet Philosopher,
2115: That could endure the tooth-ake patiently,
2116: How euer they haue writ the stile of gods,
2117: And made a push at chance and sufferance.
2118:
Brother.
Yet bend not all the harme vpon your selfe,
2119: Make those that doe offend you, suffer too.
2120:
Leon.
There thou speak'st reason, nay I will doe so,
2121: My soule doth tell me, Hero is belied,
2122: And that shall Claudio know, so shall the Prince,
2123: And all of them that thus dishonour her.
2124: [ Enter Prince and Claudio.]
2125:
Brot.
Here comes the Prince and Claudio hastily.
2126:
Prin.
Good den, good den.
2127:
Clau.
Good day to both of you.
2128:
Leon.
Heare you my Lords?
2129:
Prin.
We haue some haste Leonato.
2130:
Leo.
Some haste my Lord! wel, fareyouwel my Lord,
2131: Are you so hasty now? well, all is one.
2132:
Prin.
Nay, do not quarrel with vs, good old man.
2133:
Brot.
If he could rite himselfe with quarrelling,
2134: Some of vs would lie low.
2135:
Claud.
Who wrongs him?
2136:
Leon.
Marry y dost wrong me, thou dissembler, thou:
2137: Nay, neuer lay thy hand vpon thy sword,
2138: I feare thee not.
2139:
Claud.
Marry beshrew my hand,
2140: If it should giue your age such cause of feare,
2141: Infaith my hand meant nothing to my sword.
2142:
Leonato.
Tush, tush, man, neuer fleere and iest at me,
2143: I speake not like a dotard, nor a foole,
2144: As vnder priuiledge of age to bragge,
2145: What I haue done being yong, or what would doe,
2146: Were I not old, know Claudio to thy head,
2147: Thou hast so wrong'd my innocent childe and me,
2148: That I am forc'd to lay my reuerence by,
2149: And with grey haires and bruise of many daies,
2150: Doe challenge thee to triall of a man,
2151: I say thou hast belied mine innocent childe.
2152: Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart,
2153: And she lies buried with her ancestors:
2154: O in a tombe where neuer scandall slept,
2155: Saue this of hers, fram'd by thy villanie.
2156:
Claud.
My villany?
2157:
Leonato.
Thine Claudio, thine I say.
2158:
Prin.
You say not right old man.
2159:
Leon.
My Lord, my Lord,
2160: Ile proue it on his body if he dare,
2161: Despight his nice fence, and his actiue practise,
2162: His Maie of youth, and bloome of lustihood.
2163:
Claud.
Away, I will not haue to do with you.
2164:
Leo.
Canst thou so daffe me? thou hast kild my child,
2165: If thou kilst me, boy, thou shalt kill a man.
2166:
Bro.
He shall kill two of vs, and men indeed,
2167: But that's no matter, let him kill one first:
2168: Win me and weare me, let him answere me,
2169: Come follow me boy, come sir boy, come follow me
2170: Sir boy, ile whip you from your foyning fence,
2171: Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will.
2172:
Leon.
Brother.
2173:
Brot.
Content your self, God knows I lou'd my neece,
2174: And she is dead, slander'd to death by villaines,
2175: That dare as well answer a man indeede,
2176: As I dare take a serpent by the tongue.
2177: Boyes, apes, braggarts, Iackes, milke-sops.
2178:
Leon.
Brother Anthony.
2179:
Brot.
Hold you content, what man? I know them, yea
2180: And what they weigh, euen to the vtmost scruple,
2181: Scambling, out-facing, fashion-monging boyes,
2182: That lye, and cog, and flout, depraue, and slander,
2183: Goe antiquely, and show outward hidiousnesse,
2184: And speake of halfe a dozen dang'rous words,
2185: How they might hurt their enemies, if they durst.
2186: And this is all.
2187:
Leon.
But brother Anthonie.
2188:
Ant.
Come, 'tis no matter,
2189: Do not you meddle, let me deale in this.
2190:
Pri.
Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience
2191: My heart is sorry for your daughters death:
2192: But on my honour she was charg'd with nothing
2193: But what was true, and very full of proofe.
2194:
Leon.
My Lord, my Lord.
2195:
Prin.
I will not heare you.
2196: [ Enter Benedicke.]
2197:
Leo.
No come brother, away, I will be heard.
2198: [ Exeunt ambo.]
2199:
Bro.
And shall, or some of vs will smart for it.
2200:
Prin.
See, see, here comes the man we went to seeke.
2201:
Clau.
Now signior, what newes?
2202:
Ben.
Good day my Lord.
2203:
Prin.
Welcome signior, you are almost come to part
2204: almost a fray.
2205:
Clau.
Wee had likt to haue had our two noses snapt
2206: off with two old men without teeth.
2207:
Prin.
Leonato and his brother, what think'st thou? had
2208: wee fought, I doubt we should haue beene too yong for
2209: them.
2210:
Ben.
In a false quarrell there is no true valour, I came
2211: to seeke you both.
2212:
Clau.
We haue beene vp and downe to seeke thee, for
2213: we are high proofe melancholly, and would faine haue it
2214: beaten away, wilt thou vse thy wit?
2215:
Ben.
It is in my scabberd, shall I draw it?
2216:
Prin.
Doest thou weare thy wit by thy side?
2217:
Clau.
Neuer any did so, though verie many haue been
2218: beside their wit, I will bid thee drawe, as we do the min-strels,
2219: draw to pleasure vs.
2220:
Prin.
As I am an honest man he lookes pale, art thou
2221: sicke, or angrie?
2222:
Clau.
What, courage man: what though care kil'd a
2223: cat, thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care.
2224:
Ben.
Sir, I shall meete your wit in the careere, and
2225: you charge it against me, I pray you chuse another sub-iect.
2226: _
2227:
Clau.
Nay then giue him another staffe, this last was
2228: broke crosse.
2229:
Prin.
By this light, he changes more and more, I thinke
2230: he be angrie indeede.
2231:
Clau.
If he be, he knowes how to turne his girdle.
2232:
Ben.
Shall I speake a word in your eare?
2233:
Clau.
God blesse me from a challenge.
2234:
Ben.
You are a villaine, I iest not, I will make it good
2235: how you dare, with what you dare, and when you dare:
2236: do me right, or I will protest your cowardise: you haue
2237: kill'd a sweete Ladie, and her death shall fall heauie on
2238: you, let me heare from you.
2239:
Clau.
Well, I will meete you, so I may haue good
2240: cheare.
2241:
Prin.
What, a feast, a feast?
2242:
Clau.
I faith I thanke him, he hath bid me to a calues
2243: head and a Capon, the which if I doe not carue most cu-riously,
2244: say my knife's naught, shall I not finde a wood-cocke
2245: too?
2246:
Ben.
Sir, your wit ambles well, it goes easily.
2247:
Prin.
Ile tell thee how Beatrice prais'd thy wit the o-ther
2248: day: I said thou hadst a fine wit: true saies she, a fine
2249: little one: no said I, a great wit: right saies shee, a great
2250: grosse one: nay said I, a good wit: iust said she, it hurts
2251: no body: nay said I, the gentleman is wise: certaine said
2252: she, a wise gentleman: nay said I, he hath the tongues:
2253: that I beleeue said shee, for hee swore a thing to me on
2254: munday night, which he forswore on tuesday morning:
2255: there's a double tongue, there's two tongues: thus did
2256: shee an howre together trans-shape thy particular ver-tues,
2257: yet at last she concluded with a sigh, thou wast the
2258: proprest man in Italie.
2259:
Claud.
For the which she wept heartily, and said shee
2260: car'd not.
2261:
Prin.
Yea that she did, but yet for all that, and if shee
2262: did not hate him deadlie, shee would loue him dearely,
2263: the old mans daughter told vs all.
2264:
Clau.
All, all, and moreouer, God saw him when he
2265: was hid in the garden.
2266:
Prin.
But when shall we set the sauage Bulls hornes
2267: on the sensible Benedicks head?
2268:
Clau.
Yea and text vnder-neath, heere dwells Bene-dicke
2269: the married man.
2270:
Ben.
Fare you well, Boy, you know my minde, I will
2271: leaue you now to your gossep-like humor, you breake
2272: iests as braggards do their blades, which God be thank-ed
2273: hurt not: my Lord, for your manie courtesies I thank
2274: you, I must discontinue your companie, your brother
2275: the Bastard is fled from Messina: you haue among you,
2276: kill'd a sweet and innocent Ladie: for my Lord Lacke-beard
2277: there, he and I shall meete, and till then peace be
2278: with him.
2279:
Prin.
He is in earnest.
2280:
Clau.
In most profound earnest, and Ile warrant you,
2281: for the loue of Beatrice.
2282:
Prin.
And hath challeng'd thee.
2283:
Clau.
Most sincerely.
2284:
Prin.
What a prettie thing man is, when he goes in his
2285: doublet and hose, and leaues off his wit.
2286: [ Enter Constable, Conrade, and Borachio.]
2287:
Clau.
He is then a Giant to an Ape, but then is an Ape
2288: a Doctor to such a man.
2289:
Prin.
But soft you, let me be, plucke vp my heart, and
2290: be sad, did he not say my brother was fled?
2291:
Const.
Come you sir, if iustice cannot tame you, shee
2292: shall nere weigh more reasons in her ballance, nay, and
2293: you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must be lookt to.
2294:
Prin.
How now, two of my brothers men bound? Bo-rachio
2295: one.
2296:
Clau.
Harken after their offence my Lord.
2297:
Prin.
Officers, what offence haue these men done?
2298:
Const.
Marrie sir, they haue committed false report,
2299: moreouer they haue spoken vntruths, secondarily they
2300: are slanders, sixt and lastly, they haue belyed a Ladie,
2301: thirdly, they haue verified vniust things, and to conclude
2302: they are lying knaues.
2303:
Prin.
First I aske thee what they haue done, thirdlie
2304: I aske thee what's their offence, sixt and lastlie why they
2305: are committed, and to conclude, what you lay to their
2306: charge.
2307:
Clau.
Rightlie reasoned, and in his owne diuision, and
2308: by my troth there's one meaning well suted.
2309:
Prin.
Who haue you offended masters, that you are
2310: thus bound to your answer? this learned Constable is too
2311: cunning to be vnderstood, what's your offence?
2312:
Bor.
Sweete Prince, let me go no farther to mine an-swere:
2313: do you heare me, and let this Count kill mee: I
2314: haue deceiued euen your verie eies: what your wise-domes
2315: could not discouer, these shallow fooles haue
2316: brought to light, who in the night ouerheard me con-fessing
2317: to this man, how Don Iohn your brother incensed
2318: me to slander the Ladie Hero, how you were brought
2319: into the Orchard, and saw me court Margaret in Heroes
2320: garments, how you disgrac'd her when you should
2321: marrie her: my villanie they haue vpon record, which
2322: I had rather seale with my death, then repeate ouer to
2323: my shame: the Ladie is dead vpon mine and my masters
2324: false accusation: and briefelie, I desire nothing but the
2325: reward of a villaine.
2326:
Prin.
Runs not this speech like yron through your
2327: bloud?
2328:
Clau.
I haue drunke poison whiles he vtter'd it.
2329:
Prin.
But did my Brother set thee on to this?
2330:
Bor.
Yea, and paid me richly for the practise of it.
2331:
Prin.
He is compos'd and fram'd of treacherie,
2332: And fled he is vpon this villanie.
2333:
Clau.
Sweet Hero, now thy image doth appeare
2334: In the rare semblance that I lou'd it first.
2335:
Const.
Come, bring away the plaintiffes, by this time
2336: our Sexton hath reformed Signior Leonato of the matter:
2337: and masters, do not forget to specifie when time & place
2338: shall serue, that I am an Asse.
2339:
Con.2.
Here, here comes master Signior Leonato, and
2340: the Sexton too.
2341: [ Enter Leonato.]
2342:
Leon.
Which is the villaine? let me see his eies,
2343: That when I note another man like him,
2344: I may auoide him: which of these is he?
2345:
Bor.
If you would know your wronger, looke on me.
2346:
Leon.
Art thou the slaue that with thy breath
2347: hast kild mine innocent childe?
2348:
Bor.
Yea, euen I alone.
2349:
Leo.
No, not so villaine, thou beliest thy selfe,
2350: Here stand a paire of honourable men,
2351: A third is fled that had a hand in it:
2352: I thanke you Princes for my daughters death,
2353: Record it with your high and worthie deedes,
2354: 'Twas brauely done, if you bethinke you of it.
2355:
Clau.
I know not how to pray your patience,
2356: Yet I must speake, choose your reuenge your selfe,
2357: Impose me to what penance your inuention
2358: Can lay vpon my sinne, yet sinn'd I not,
2359: But in mistaking.
2360:
Prin.
By my soule nor I,
2361: And yet to satisfie this good old man,
2362: I would bend vnder anie heauie waight,
2363: That heele enioyne me to.
2364:
Leon.
I cannot bid you bid my daughter liue,
2365: That were impossible, but I praie you both,
2366: Possesse the people in Messina here,
2367: How innocent she died, and if your loue
2368: Can labour aught in sad inuention,
2369: Hang her an epitaph vpon her toomb,
2370: And sing it to her bones, sing it to night:
2371: To morrow morning come you to my house,
2372: And since you could not be my sonne in law,
2373: Be yet my Nephew: my brother hath a daughter,
2374: Almost the copie of my childe that's dead,
2375: And she alone is heire to both of vs,
2376: Giue her the right you should haue giu'n her cosin,
2377: And so dies my reuenge.
2378:
Clau.
O noble sir!
2379: Your ouerkindnesse doth wring teares from me,
2380: I do embrace your offer, and dispose
2381: For henceforth of poore Claudio.
2382:
Leon.
To morrow then I will expect your comming,
2383: To night I take my leaue, this naughtie man
2384: Shall face to face be brought to Margaret,
2385: Who I beleeue was packt in all this wrong,
2386: Hired to it by your brother.
2387:
Bor.
No, by my soule she was not,
2388: Nor knew not what she did when she spoke to me,
2389: But alwaies hath bin iust and vertuous,
2390: In anie thing that I do know by her.
2391:
Const.
Moreouer sir, which indeede is not vnder white
2392: and black, this plaintiffe here, the offendour did call mee
2393: asse, I beseech you let it be remembred in his punish-ment,
2394: and also the watch heard them talke of one Defor-med,
2395: they say he weares a key in his eare and a lock hang-ing
2396: by it, and borrowes monie in Gods name, the which
2397: he hath vs'd so long, and neuer paied, that now men grow
2398: hard-harted and will lend nothing for Gods sake: praie
2399: you examine him vpon that point.
2400:
Leon.
I thanke thee for thy care and honest paines.
2401:
Const.
Your worship speakes like a most thankefull
2402: and reuerend youth, and I praise God for you.
2403:
Leon.
There's for thy paines.
2404:
Const.
God saue the foundation.
2405:
Leon.
Goe, I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I
2406: thanke thee.
2407:
Const.
I leaue an arrant knaue with your worship,
2408: which I beseech your worship to correct your selfe, for
2409: the example of others: God keepe your worship, I
2410: wish your worship well, God restore you to health,
2411: I humblie giue you leaue to depart, and if a mer-rie
2412: meeting may be wisht, God prohibite it: come
2413: neighbour.
2414:
Leon.
Vntill to morrow morning, Lords, farewell.
2415: [ Exeunt.]
2416:
Brot.
Farewell my Lords, we looke for you to mor-row.
2417: _
2418:
Prin.
We will not faile.
2419:
Clau.
To night ile mourne with Hero.
2420:
Leon.
Bring you these fellowes on, weel talke with
2421: Margaret, How her acquaintance grew with this lewd
2422: fellow. [ Exeunt.]
2423: [ Enter Benedicke and Margaret.]
2424:
Ben.
Praie thee sweete Mistris Margaret, deserue
2425: well at my hands, by helping mee to the speech of Bea-trice.
2426: _
2427:
Mar.
Will you then write me a Sonnet in praise of
2428: my beautie?
2429:
Bene.
In so high a stile Margaret, that no man liuing
2430: shall come ouer it, for in most comely truth thou deser-uest
2431: it.
2432:
Mar.
To haue no man come ouer me, why, shall I al-waies
2433: keepe below staires?
2434:
Bene.
Thy wit is as quicke as the grey-hounds mouth,
2435: it catches.
2436:
Mar.
And yours, as blunt as the Fencers foiles, which
2437: hit, but hurt not.
2438:
Bene.
A most manly wit Margaret, it will not hurt a
2439: woman: and so I pray thee call Beatrice, I giue thee the
2440: bucklers.
2441:
Mar.
Giue vs the swords, wee haue bucklers of our
2442: owne.
2443:
Bene.
If you vse them Margaret, you must put in the
2444: pikes with a vice, and they are dangerous weapons for
2445: Maides.
2446:
Mar.
Well, I will call Beatrice to you, who I thinke
2447: hath legges. [ Exit Margarite.]
2448:
Ben.
And therefore will come. The God of loue that
2449: sits aboue, and knowes me, and knowes me, how pitti-full
2450: I deserue. I meane in singing, but in louing, Lean-der
2451: the good swimmer, Troilous the first imploier of
2452: pandars, and a whole booke full of these quondam car-pet-mongers,
2453: whose name yet runne smoothly in the e-uen
2454: rode of a blanke verse, why they were neuer so true-ly
2455: turned ouer and ouer as my poore selfe in loue: mar-rie
2456: I cannot shew it rime, I haue tried, I can finde out no
2457: rime to Ladie but babie, an innocent rime: for scorne,
2458: horne, a hard rime: for schoole foole, a babling rime:
2459: verie ominous endings, no, I was not borne vnder a ri-ming
2460: Plannet, for I cannot wooe in festiuall tearmes:
2461: [ Enter Beatrice.]
2462: sweete Beatrice would'st thou come when I cal'd
2463: thee?
2464:
Beat.
Yea Signior, and depart when you bid me.
2465:
Bene.
O stay but till then.
2466:
Beat.
Then, is spoken: fare you well now, and yet ere
2467: I goe, let me goe with that I came, which is, with know-ing
2468: what hath past betweene you and Claudio.
2469:
Bene.
Onely foule words, and thereupon I will kisse
2470: thee.
2471:
Beat.
Foule words is but foule wind, and foule wind
2472: is but foule breath, and foule breath is noisome, there-fore
2473: I will depart vnkist.
2474:
Bene.
Thou hast frighted the word out of his right
2475: sence, so forcible is thy wit, but I must tell thee plainely,
2476: Claudio vndergoes my challenge, and either I must short-ly
2477: heare from him, or I will subscribe him a coward, and
2478: I pray thee now tell me, for which of my bad parts didst
2479: thou first fall in loue with me?
2480:
Beat.
For them all together, which maintain'd so
2481: politique a state of euill, that they will not admit any
2482: good part to intermingle with them: but for which of
2483: my good parts did you first suffer loue for me?
2484:
Bene.
Suffer loue! a good epithite, I do suffer loue in-deede,
2485: for I loue thee against my will,
2486:
Beat.
In spight of your heart I think, alas poore heart,
2487: if you spight it for my sake, I will spight it for yours, for
2488: I will neuer loue that which my friend hates.
2489:
Bened.
Thou and I are too wise to wooe peacea-blie.
2490: _
2491:
Bea.
It appeares not in this confession, there's not one
2492: wise man among twentie that will praise himselfe.
2493:
Bene.
An old, an old instance Beatrice, that liu'd in
2494: the time of good neighbours, if a man doe not erect in
2495: this age his owne tombe ere he dies, hee shall liue no
2496: longer in monuments, then the Bels ring, & the Widdow
2497: weepes.
2498:
Beat.
And how long is that thinke you?
2499:
Ben.
Question, why an hower in clamour and a quar-ter
2500: in rhewme, therfore is it most expedient for the wise,
2501: if Don worme (his conscience) finde no impediment to
2502: the contrarie, to be the trumpet of his owne vertues, as
2503: I am to my selfe so much for praising my selfe, who I my
2504: selfe will beare witnesse is praise worthie, and now tell
2505: me, how doth your cosin?
2506:
Beat.
Verie ill.
2507:
Bene.
And how doe you?
2508:
Beat.
Verie ill too.
2509: [ Enter Vrsula.]
2510:
Bene.
Serue God, loue me, and mend, there will I leaue
2511: you too, for here comes one in haste.
2512:
Vrs.
Madam, you must come to your Vncle, yon-ders
2513: old coile at home, it is prooued my Ladie He-ro
2514: hath bin falselie accusde, the Prince and Claudio
2515: mightilie abusde, and Don Iohn is the author of all, who
2516: is fled and gone: will you come presentlie?
2517:
Beat.
Will you go heare this newes Signior?
2518:
Bene.
I will liue in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be bu-ried
2519: in thy eies: and moreouer, I will goe with thee to
2520: thy Vncles. [ Exeunt.]
2521: [ Enter Claudio, Prince, and three or foure with Tapers.]
2522:
Clau.
Is this the monument of Leonato?
2523:
Lord
It is my Lord. [ Epitaph.]
2524: Done to death by slanderous tongues,
2525: Was the Hero that here lies:
2526: Death in guerdon of her wrongs,
2527: Giues her fame which neuer dies:
2528: So the life that dyed with shame,
2529: Liues in death with glorious fame.
2530: Hang thou there vpon the tombe,
2531: Praising her when I am dombe.
2532:
Clau.
Now musick sound & sing your solemn hymne
2533: [ Song.]
2534: Pardon goddesse of the night,
2535: Those that slew thy virgin knight,
2536: For the which with songs of woe,
2537: Round about her tombe they goe:
2538: Midnight assist our mone, helpe vs to sigh and grone.
2539: Heauily, heauily.
2540: Graues yawne and yeelde your dead,
2541: Till death be vttered,
2542: Heauenly, heauenly.
2543:
Lo.
Now vnto thy bones good night, yeerely will I do this right.
2544:
Prin.
Good morrow masters, put your Torches out,
2545: The wolues haue preied, and looke, the gentle day
2546: Before the wheeles of Phoebus, round about
2547: Dapples the drowsie East with spots of grey:
2548: Thanks to you all, and leaue vs, fare you well.
2549:
Clau.
Good morrow masters, each his seuerall way.
2550:
Prin.
Come let vs hence, and put on other weedes,
2551: And then to Leonatoes we will goe.
2552:
Clau.
And Hymen now with luckier issue speeds,
2553: Then this for whom we rendred vp this woe. [ Exeunt.]
2554: [ Enter Leonato, Bene. Marg. Vrsula, old man, Frier, Hero.]
2555:
Frier.
Did I not tell you she was innocent?
2556:
Leo.
So are the Prince and Claudio who accus'd her,
2557: Vpon the errour that you heard debated:
2558: But Margaret was in some fault for this,
2559: Although against her will as it appeares,
2560: In the true course of all the question.
2561:
Old.
Well, I am glad that all things sort so well.
2562:
Bene.
And so am I, being else by faith enforc'd
2563: To call young Claudio to a reckoning for it.
2564:
Leo.
Well daughter, and you gentlewomen all,
2565: Withdraw into a chamber by your selues,
2566: And when I send for you, come hither mask'd:
2567: The Prince and Claudio promis'd by this howre
2568: To visit me, you know your office Brother,
2569: You must be father to your brothers daughter,
2570: And giue her to young Claudio. [ Exeunt Ladies.]
2571:
Old.
Which I will doe with confirm'd countenance.
2572:
Bene.
Frier, I must intreat your paines, I thinke.
2573:
Frier.
To doe what Signior?
2574:
Bene.
To binde me, or vndoe me, one of them:
2575: Signior Leonato, truth it is good Signior,
2576: Your neece regards me with an eye of fauour.
2577:
Leo.
That eye my daughter lent her, 'tis most true.
2578:
Bene.
And I doe with an eye of loue requite her.
2579:
Leo.
The sight whereof I thinke you had from me,
2580: From Claudio, and the Prince, but what's your will?
2581:
Bened.
Your answer sir is Enigmaticall,
2582: But for my will, my will is, your good will
2583: May stand with ours, this day to be conioyn'd,
2584: In the state of honourable marriage,
2585: In which (good Frier) I shall desire your helpe.
2586:
Leon.
My heart is with your liking.
2587:
Frier.
And my helpe.
2588: [ Enter Prince and Claudio, with attendants.]
2589:
Prin.
Good morrow to this faire assembly.
2590:
Leo.
Good morrow Prince, good morrow Claudio:
2591: We heere attend you, are you yet determin'd,
2592: To day to marry with my brothers daughter?
2593:
Claud.
Ile hold my minde were she an Ethiope.
2594:
Leo.
Call her forth brother, heres the Frier ready.
2595:
Prin.
Good morrow Benedicke, why what's the matter?
2596: That you haue such a Februarie face,
2597: So full of frost, of storme, and clowdinesse.
2598:
Claud.
I thinke he thinkes vpon the sauage bull:
2599: Tush, feare not man, wee'll tip thy hornes with gold,
2600: And all Europa shall reioyce at thee,
2601: As once Europa did at lusty Ioue,
2602: When he would play the noble beast in loue.
2603:
Ben.
Bull Ioue sir, had an amiable low,
2604: And some such strange bull leapt your fathers Cow,
2605: A got a Calfe in that same noble feat,
2606: Much like to you, for you haue iust his bleat.
2607: [ Enter brother, Hero, Beatrice, Margaret, Vrsula.]
2608:
Cla.
For this I owe you: here comes other recknings.
2609: Which is the Lady I must seize vpon?
2610:
Leo.
This same is she, and I doe giue you her.
2611:
Cla.
Why then she's mine, sweet let me see your face.
2612:
Leon.
No that you shal not, till you take her hand,
2613: Before this Frier, and sweare to marry her.
2614:
Clau.
Giue me your hand before this holy Frier,
2615: I am your husband if you like of me.
2616:
Hero.
And when I liu'd I was your other wife,
2617: And when you lou'd, you were my other husband.
2618:
Clau.
Another Hero?
2619:
Hero.
Nothing certainer.
2620: One Hero died, but I doe liue,
2621: And surely as I liue, I am a maid.
2622:
Prin.
The former Hero, Hero that is dead.
2623:
Leon.
Shee died my Lord, but whiles her slander liu'd.
2624:
Frier.
All this amazement can I qualifie,
2625: When after that the holy rites are ended,
2626: Ile tell you largely of faire Heroes death:
2627: Meane time let wonder seeme familiar,
2628: And to the chappell let vs presently.
2629:
Ben.
Soft and faire Frier, which is Beatrice?
2630:
Beat.
I answer to that name, what is your will?
2631:
Bene.
Doe not you loue me?
2632:
Beat.
Why no, no more then reason.
2633:
Bene.
Why then your Vncle, and the Prince, & Clau-dio,
2634: haue beene deceiued, they swore you did.
2635:
Beat.
Doe not you loue mee?
2636:
Bene.
Troth no, no more then reason.
2637:
Beat.
Why then my Cosin Margaret and Vrsula
2638: Are much deceiu'd, for they did sweare you did.
2639:
Bene.
They swore you were almost sicke for me.
2640:
Beat.
They swore you were wel-nye dead for me.
2641:
Bene.
'Tis no matter, then you doe not loue me?
2642:
Beat.
No truly, but in friendly recompence.
2643:
Leon.
Come Cosin, I am sure you loue the gentlema[n].
2644:
Clau.
And Ile be sworne vpon't, that he loues her,
2645: For heres a paper written in his hand,
2646: A halting sonnet of his owne pure braine,
2647: Fashioned to Beatrice.
2648:
Hero.
And heeres another,
2649: Writ in my cosins hand, stolne from her pocket,
2650: Containing her affection vnto Benedicke.
2651:
Bene.
A miracle, here's our owne hands against our
2652: hearts: come I will haue thee, but by this light I take
2653: thee for pittie.
2654:
Beat.
I would not denie you, but by this good day, I
2655: yeeld vpon great perswasion, & partly to saue your life,
2656: for I was told, you were in a consumption.
2657:
Leon.
Peace I will stop your mouth.
2658:
Prin.
How dost thou Benedicke the married man?
2659:
Bene.
Ile tell thee what Prince: a Colledge of witte-crackers
2660: cannot flout mee out of my humour, dost thou
2661: think I care for a Satyre or an Epigram? no, if a man will
2662: be beaten with braines, a shall weare nothing handsome
2663: about him: in briefe, since I do purpose to marry, I will
2664: thinke nothing to any purpose that the world can say a-gainst
2665: it, and therefore neuer flout at me, for I haue said
2666: against it: for man is a giddy thing, and this is my con-clusion:
2667: for thy part Claudio, I did thinke to haue beaten
2668: thee, but in that thou art like to be my kinsman, liue vn-bruis'd,
2669: and loue my cousin.
2670:
Cla.
I had well hop'd y wouldst haue denied Beatrice, y
2671: I might haue cudgel'd thee out of thy single life, to make
2672: thee a double dealer, which out of questio[n] thou wilt be,
2673: if my Cousin do not looke exceeding narrowly to thee.
2674:
Bene.
Come, come, we are friends, let's haue a dance
2675: ere we are married, that we may lighten our own hearts,
2676: and our wiues heeles.
2677:
Leon.
Wee'll haue dancing afterward.
2678:
Bene.
First, of my word, therfore play musick. Prince,
2679: thou art sad, get thee a wife, get thee a wife, there is no
2680: staff more reuerend then one tipt with horn. [ Enter. Mes.]
2681:
Messen.
My Lord, your brother Iohn is tane in flight,
2682: And brought with armed men backe to Messina.
2683:
Bene.
Thinke not on him till to morrow, ile deuise
2684: thee braue punishments for him: strike vp Pipers. [ Dance.]
2685: FINIS.
2686: Much adoe about Nothing